Wishing you were somehow here again
by RosemaryTavington
Summary: FINISHED! A thief breaks into Cornwallis' office. It appears to be a woman! She was abandoned by her father, Cornwallis, when she was 8. Now, 15 years later she is back to take what belongs to her. But Tavington gets in the way. Sexual content later
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Hello there! I have read a lot of fanfiction about Colonel Tavington and finally decided to write one myself. English is not my first language, for I am Dutch, so bear with me :-)**

**If you have any ideas yourself and you would like me to work those ideas out, let me know!**

**I would love some tips and constructive criticism in reviews! :-)**

It was nighttime. Except for the guards, who were supposed to guard the estate from intruders, everyone was asleep in the military estate in South Carolina. This was where the Lord General resided. And this was exactly the place where she would break in to take what rightfully belonged to her.

Dressed in a man's breeches, shirt, cape, mask and hat she climbed up the wall to a window which she broke to open up from the inside. She was as quick as a cat and as lean as a lynx. She entered the estate through the window and landed exactly in the room that she needed to be. Of course she did, she had planned this perfectly. She knew the estate through and through thanks to the map she stole from the architects.

She searched the room and found the only item she came here for and then dissapeared back into the night.

* * *

><p><em>The next morning<em>

Tavington and O'Hara were called into the Lord General's office. The office was completely trashed. There were papers laid out all over the floor, closets and drawers were opened up and not a single chair was standing on it's feet. Someone had obviously thoroughly searched this room for something they desperately wanted.

''Gentlemen'' the Lord General started, ''As you can see, last night someone has broken into the estate and into my room. I want this person found for he has stolen something which is of great importance to me. I also want you to never speak of this to anybody. We shall act as if this has never happened''.

''Tavington, you will find this person for me and you will report to O'Hara and me. I shall repeat myself: no one is to know about this. When you find this thief, you will bring him to me and to me only! You will speak to no one off this do you understand!'' Cornwallis barked.

Tavington frowned, ''It is perfectly clear sir, though might I inform as to how am I to find this mysterious figure?''

''You need not worry about this Colonel, the thief will come back because he left something behind that he came for'' Cornwallis explained.

''What exactly has the thief taken from your office Sir? And for what item will he come back and when?'' O'Hara asked.

''The thief has stolen a silver locket which has the shape of a heart. Inside this locket is a small photo of a woman and a diamond ring. This diamond is shaped to open up one other locket. This way, I would always know that these two lockets belong to eachother. The person who stole this locket...well... euhm... he is...'' he sighed and glared at Tavington, then continued ''Never mind, it is none of your buisiness. The thief will come back because the ring is not inside the silver locket. I keep the ring with me at all times''.

Tavington frowned. This was definetly not the most thrilling quest he had ever been on. To catch a simple diamond thief. He was the Colonel of the Green Dragoons! What on earth did Cornwallis take him for! Some school boy! He had advanced himself through victory to become Colonel of the Green Dragoons and had ambitions to become a general and move to Ohio when this bloody war was over. In order to do so he obviously had to grovel at Cornwallis' and O'Hara's feet. Unfortunately he was to proud a man to do so.

His father had squandered his entire inheritance on drinking and gambling. So Tavington decided to join the army and take care of his younger siblings with what little wages he earned. From a meaningless sergeant he worked his way up to become a colonel. He was especially known for his brutal tactics in war and the efficient ways of conditioning his men. They feared though respected him. None would ever be so dumb to disobeye ''the Butcher''.

''I shall personally guard your quarters and make sure that this thief is caught. I shall speak to no one of this, you have my word on that Sir''. Tavington said with the most displeasing look on his face.

Cornwallis sniffed arrogantly and looked away from Tavington to stare out of the window.

''Good, you are then dismissed and we shall see if the thief is eager enough to pay us a visit again tonight''.

''And Colonel...''

''Sir?''

''I want the thief alive and unharmed''.

Tavington nodded and left the room. He was up for a night without any sleep.


	2. Rendezvous

**AN: Sometimes I will describe very detailed what the main character looks like in ( . . . )  
>I am inspired by musicals, classical opera and other romantic stories I've read and seen. It probably won't be left unnoticed that I am a big Phantom-of-the-opera-lover ;-)<strong>

**Back to Tavington, Cornwallis and our secret identity thief! **

The clock in the main hall stroke twelve times. It was midnight and still no sign of the thief. Tavington started to get impatient, he sat in a chair in the corner of Cornwallis' office. What kind of a fool would even try to break into a military estate for the second time in a row! He would probably sit here all night long and no thief would appear. Then at 6 'o clock in the morning he would start training with the Dragoons. He was used to getting no sleep, being a colonel in the English military wasn't very glamorous. Some weeks he was out every night, raiding with his Dragoons.  
>His rank had made him quite a wealthy man but his reputation made him a lonely man. All kinds of stories about him were being spilled into society. Half of the stories weren't even true but he didnt't care to contradict them. He hated balls and he didn't care for social gatherings so his reputation was quite useful to him, people would stay away and he wouldn't have to listen to their empty-headed gossiping.<p>

Suddenly he saw a small shadow move from the window to the door. How could he have missed that! How did the thief come in unnoticed!

The thief didn't seem to notice him though, he went through the door into the hallway and into the dining room. Tavington followed him into the dining room. There he closed the door and lit some candles, there was no way out now. He didn't see the shadowy figure anymore though, he walked through the dining room... Slowly... His boots clucking on the floor with every step he took. The thief could hear the spurrs of his boots on the ground. Tavington took out his pistol but he didn't cock it. He remembered Cornwallis' words: _alive and unharmed_. His victim was obviously under the dining table hiding behind the dining cloth. He could just smell the fear. How pathetic.  
>He strolled towards the door and opened it, then closed it and pretended to have left the room. Within a few seconds he saw a gloved hand coming from under the table. How foolish to think that he'd already left.<br>Tavington yanked it's wrist hard and his prey was then finally revealed...

''Get up, you stupid little boy!'' he barked.

He yanked his upper arm and shoved the thief against the wall. He was pinned against the wall by Tavington's body. He clould see that the thief was only about 5''6 and much lighter than the colonel. It was just a boy! He thought to himself.

''Let me go! I didn't do anything wrong this is just the wrong house I swear, I live next door I swear!''

''You expect me to believe that? What kind of a fool do you take me for? There is no 'next door', this is a military estate! Insult me thus again and I will shoot you on the spot you little twat. Now let's see who has caused me all this trouble shall we?''.

He pulled off the mask and hat which the thief wore to try and hide his identity. For a couple of moments Tavington didn't know what to say. His eyes must have been playing tricks on him! The thief who he had thought to be a foolish boy, was a young woman.  
>She had long wavey red hair which reached the end of her back and green eyes which were raging with anger. To be honoust: she was quite beautiful.<p>

Whilst he stared at her in amazement she took this oppertunity and kicked him hard in the groin. He gasped in pain. She made a sprint for the door but Tavington had already tackled her to the ground , climbed on top of her and pinned her to the floor underneath his body.

''Get off me I can't breath you bastard!''

''You don't deserve to breathe you little wench'' he said as he slowly closed his fingers around her throat. My god, he was going to choke her, this was the end, this was where she would die. She tried to get him off but he was too heavy for her. 

Then he slightly released his grip on her throat and brought his mouth close to her ear, she could feel his warm breath down her neck, and he whispered:

''I will release you madam, if you promiss to be quiet and take a seat on that chair. If you try to run away or start screaming I will simply put a bulllet through your pretty little head without any hessitation. Do we understand eachother?''.

''Yes''.

''Excuse me?'' He raised his eyebrow.

''Yes... sir'' she mubled under her breath. She took a seat on the chair which he had pointed out for her.

''Now, you will tell me what you came here for and you will tell me who you are. And most important of all: where do your loyalties lie madam?''

''My loyalties? I do not understand which loyalties you speak off sir. You see, I am from France so obvioulsy that is where my loyalties lie. As for your other questions, I shall not tell you who I am neither will I reveal my identity to you because you are not the person I came here for nor do you possess the item which I will claim from this estate later on'' she replied in a slight French accent.

Tavington knew he was going to lose his temper very soon, he could feel the anger burn inside him and her slightly annoying French accent didn't make it any better. He stood up and leaned over her, his grip on the armchairs was so tight that his hands turned white. He was trying to intimidate her but she just glared at him, straight into his icey cold eyes. They stayed like this for a couple of minutes but it seemed like hours to him and to her also. He stared into her angry eyes with his angry eyes. Why wasn't she scared! She obviously didn't know who he was and what he was capable off. Their heads were so close that their noses almost touched eachother and if it wasn't for their anger and spite, which was obvious from their body language and awkward silent, anyone could have mistaken this for a shameless flirtation.

He had to admit, she was quite beautiful, long red hair, firey green eyes, pale skin and slender body with perfect curves in the right places which were way to obvious in the man's attire that she was wearing. He had to break this up because he would not only lose his temper but also his self control by staring into these eyes any longer. He shook the feelings off him. He didn't care for women!

''So be it then miss, I will take you to our military prison, chain you to the wall and I will come and pick you up in the morning for a private meeting with my superior''.

''Fine, then do your duty soldier, because we are wasting precious time here. And also: I'm bored''.

He pulled her from the chair and led her down the stairs into the small cellars of the estate which were sometimes used as prisons. The walk seemed to last hours and the awkwardness didn't go unnoticed on either of them.

''Would you be so kind to remove one of your boots so I can chain your ankle to the wall?''  
>He realised how unappropriate it was to ask a woman such a thing but her wrists were way too small to be chained to the wall, she could stick her hand through the chain without opening them up. And Cornwallis would have his head if she would somehow escape. When he touched her ankle it felt like his hand was on fire.<p>

''There's a cot and a blanket. I suggest you get some sleep because early in the morning I will come and get you'' he said as he chained her ankle to the wall. The chain was a couple of feet long so she was still able to reach the cot and lie down on it.

''Can't wait for another 'rendez vous' '' she said sarcasticly as she sweetly blinked her eyes at the colonel.

''You are a little brat and tomorrow you will probably be hanged for treason and stealing. Have a nice night young lady'' he smirked and left the cellar locking the door behind him. Of course she wouldn't be hanged but he wanted to scare the little bitch with her sarcasm and impertenence. There was a reason Cornwallis wanted her alive and unharmed, she was probably of some great value to him.

_The next morning_

The next morning when he came for her, she was still asleep on the cot. He stared at how peaceful she laid there. Not much left of the fiery creature he met last night. He didn't feel much for another kick in the groin so he unchained her ankle without waking her and then gave her a light kick to the knee.

''Aow! Merde!...what the..., you really know how to wake a lady, you must have a lot of experience on that territory I assume'' she glared at him.

Tavington ignored the impertenent comment. ''Get up, I'm bringing you to the Lord General. Put on your mask and cloack and hide your hair under your hat. I have been given strict orders that no one is to know you are here so we shall hide your identity once more until we reach his office''.

''You are very good at following orders sir, chapeau''.

She followed his command and they walked through the halls of the estate towards Cornwallis' office. When they entered, Cornwallis was sitting behind his desk and O'Hara was standing next to him. Tavington closed the door behind him, locked it and placed her in the middle of the room.

''Good morning, I am Lord General Cornwallis and this is General O'Hara. I assume you are the thief who has broken into my estate twice now. Take off your mask and hat and reveal yourself'' Cornwallis commanded her.

She did as he told her to. Her hair fell down her back as she took of her hat and then she removed the mask and said:

''Hello father''.


	3. Family troubles

**AN: So, I'm thinking about doing some ''Point of view'' chapters later. So that we can really sense what our characters are feeling. And I'm not sure what I'm going do with the war yet. **

**Any ideas anyone? I would love some reviews :-D  
>Also I want more action between our main character lady and Tavington but my mind seems blocked on that part. Help!<strong>

He knew it, deep inside Tavington knew all along, she was his daughter. It all made sense now, there was a very obvious resemblance in there faces also. There must have been some kind of scandal around her birth and then Cornwallis send the child and mother away or something. Tavington and O'Hara were thinking of the same thing for once. They were also both curious what kind of scandal Cornwallis had been involved in.

Cornwallis didn't know what to do. He wanted to hug her, take her in his arms and cuddle her to death. He wanted to make up for all the lost time and make new memories, he wanted to take care of her but he could see she was a grown woman now.  
>So he just stood there and stared at how beautiful and grown up his daughter had become. He had missed so many years of her childhood. He never saw her grow up an he knew nothing of her current life. She looked so much like her mother, the same long wavey hair, dark green eyes and fierce way of presenting herself. She just stood there, head lifted up high and smirking. He couldn't help but feel a father's pride.<p>

''Hello father, I trust you are well?'' she asked

''Rose... yes I am very well indeed, and you look quite fit yourself. Though I feel obligated to comment on the strange attire you are wearing.''.

''Corsets and dresses aren't very handy when one tries to break into a military estate and I'm healthy yes'' she replied.

''Gentlemen, meet my daughter Rosemary de la Porte'' Cornwallis introduced her.

She gave Tavington a slight bow with an evil ''you are in so much trouble'' smirk. He came towards her, took her small hand in his and placed a kiss on it.

''Such a pleasure to meet you miss Rosemary, I am Colonel Tavington of the Green Dragoons, I wish I could say I've heard so much about you, but sadly I have not...'' he said in an sarcastic tone and with an evil smirk on his face.  
>Of course he had heard nothing about her. Nobody knew about the secret of his Lord General. For all they had known, Cornwallis had a wife who died a couple of years ago and one son named John who was now 30 years old.<p>

O'Hara took a step forward to take her hand but she pulled it back.

''Enough with the hand kisses thank you, I am not used to this British protocol, its nice to meet you mister...''

''General O'Hara madam, it's a real pleasure''.

''Let's not waste any more time'' Cornwallis interrupted. ''Young lady, you broke into my office to steal some of my belongings, I would very much like them back''.

''They are my mother's belongings and therefor mine!'' she said.

''Yes I see how you might feel that way dear, but the truth is...''

''I am not your dear'' she interrupted him. ''You left me! You abandoned me for a son who wasn't even your own flesh and blood! And for that evil sardistic witch who gave birth to that dog!'' she yelled at him.

''THATS ENOUGH! I won't have you speak to me in such manner about my late wife and son'' Cornwallis said.

''I see how nothig has changed, you are still willing to stand up for my 'so called brother' and your wife but not for your own daughter and the woman you actually loved and who loved you'' she said.

Cornwallis frowned ''I have made many wrong choices in my life, but I never abandoned you my dear, I made some choices because I thought they were in your best interest. The fact that you don't see it that way doesn't change that. You are my daughter and always will be, but I promised to raise John as my son and I have kept my word. I never abandoned you, I have found you a much better place to grow up''.

''Fine. So what am I here for? What will happen now?'' she asked him. She just wanted to get to the point and leave.

''You are from France, they are our enemy because they side with the colonials. So I would like to know where do your loyalties lie my dear?'' he asked her as he looked at her with a begging expression.

''With France of course father, it is my home country, it is almost all I have known for my entire life'' she answered his question.

Tavington frowned at her. Of course, she had to be a damn patriot also. Shame, she was quite attractive and spirited and it would be a real challenge to try and tame this kitten he thought.

''I see'' Cornwallis replied dissapointed. ''I beg you to reconsider dearest, by English law I am in the position to hang you for this treason and thieving. Colonel Tavington, please escort my daughter back to her cell and I hope that after a couple of hours calming herself down and re-thinking everything, she is willing to speak to me about how she and I shall continue our lives. After all, we are family and I care a lot about you'' he said as he stared out of the window.

''You should have cared 15 years ago!'' she was raging with anger and wanted to walk up to him and smack him in the face but Tavington had already seized her wrists to guide her out of the room. He felt a little sorry for the young woman. He didn't know exactly what happened between the Lord General and his daughter, but it seemed that her father had not properly taken care of his daughter as a man ought to do in his opinion.

He took her outside and back to her cell. She remained silent when they walked through the halls towards the cellar. He studied her face, she had pale flawless skin and full lips, he thought she was about 23 years old and eventhough she had a sad look on her face she still lifted her head up as if she were the queen of England.  
>When they reached the cellars he let go of her arm and she entered. As she turned around to sit on the cot he saw that her eyes were watery but she refused to cry. Tavington felt like he should say something to her. He had this odd urge to comfort her but he kept in one place.<p>

She stared at the wall in front of her. All kinds of thoughts ran through her head. She looked up at the colonel.

''Colonel...''

''Yes miss?''

''Do you think he will really hang me?'' she asked

Tavington wanted to lie and say yes. But he couldn't, he felt the strange need to comfort her. He wasn't familiar with this feeling and he told himself it was because he also had the experience of growing up in a deranged family life, so he could relate to her, nothing more.  
>He looked down at her and gave a slight smile ''No miss, I do not think Lord General Cornwallis will hang his own daughter. Also, we do not hang women, it is barbaric. Maybe you should get some rest because it seems your father would like to speak with you again in a couple of hours''.<p>

''Thank you'' she said. He had given her an honoust answer and it gave her some peace.

He nodded and closed the door. There was raiding to be done which was a good thing because he needed something to get his mind of this buisiness with Cornwallis' daughter.


	4. Explanations and invitations

''Come in my dear'' Cornwallis had ordered a soldier to collect her and bring her to his office. Now that they had both calmed down he hoped they could talk with one another. About eachothers life, the past and also future plans. He realised he owed her an explanation about some of the choices he had made in the past. And he also hoped she would be able to forgive him and start over. He wanted to take care of her like a real father should do.

''Please be seated and have something to eat. I am truely sorry that I have locked you up my dear. I realise that it is not exactly a fatherly thing to do. If you would give me the chance however, I will explain my motives''.

She sat down in the chair opposite from him. Because of her pride it came to mind to refuse the offer to eat something. But she was starving so she drank some water and ate a sandwhich.

''Ok'' she finally said ''What shall we talk about then?''

''Would you like to start by telling me what your life is like? What do you do during the day, are you married, perhaps you have children of your own and where do you live?'' Cornwallis asked her.

''Well, I am not married, I do not have any children and I spend my days composing music, singing opera, teaching music and teaching ballet. In the spring and summer I live in France, in Paris to be precise. Six years ago I became the lead soprano in the productions of L'Opera Populaire in Paris. Before that I was a chorus girl. Opera is very populair in the spring and summer but in autumn and winter I mainly teach music to children of wealthy families. Usually I teach in London or Paris but this autumn and winter I have taken some time off to write an opera which will go into production this spring in London and Paris. That is what I do''.

''I see'' Cornwallis said. ''Yes I think I have read about your opera, it's very well known throughout the world. That is quite an achievement my dear. I would love to come and see a performance some time''.

''Father..., please...'' Rosemary sighed. ''May we first speak about what happened? I have wondered for so many years why you left me, why you never stood up for me when I most needed you to''.

Cornwallis let out a heavy sigh ''You are right, I owe you and explanation''.

He stood up and strolled around the room whilst he explained to her why he abandoned his own daughter 15 years ago.

''I was very young when I joined the military. There I met Jonathan who was in the same regiment, he was a good man and we became close friends. It felt like he was the brother I never had. A couple of years later we were both promoted to major, then colonel, and eventually he became Lord General which placed me under his command. Some years after that I found out that Jonathan was dying. And on his death bed he made me promise that I would take care of his wife and son. I did promise him this and he ordered his sollicitors to create a testomony for it. I would marry his wife so I would have financial obligations towards her and her son John. And so it was done. The sollicitors would check up on me if I still honoured his testomony by taking care of John and his mother. If I did not I would be fired from the army.  
>I hired a governess to take care of John. Her name was Eliza and she was your mother. This happened 24 years ago. We fell in love, she was so spirited, so fierce and had a mind of her own just like you. We wanted to be together but I was in an arranged marriage so there was no possibility. I loved her so much words can't even describe it, she loved me back and so we didn't care about society. I only had financial obligations towards John and his mother, I did not need to love them and I did not. I loved Eliza and we decided to have an affair. You were born 9 months later and I kept you and your mother in my household just so that we could be like a family, it became once of the biggest scandals of London.<br>I could have broken my promise to Jonathan but that would have gotten me fired and then I wouldn't have been able to take care of your mother and you. The rest of the story you probably remember. Your mother died when you were 6 and I officially took you in. But John and his mother were insanely cruel to you and that is why I send you away when you were 8. To a family in France, Antoine and Mary de la Porte, where I knew you would be well taken care of. I have known Antoine for many years and he is the only person I would trust with my own daughter. I chose them because ever since you were little you were so talented in music, you wrote music, you played the piano when you were 5. Antoine and Marie would help you fulfill your dreams, they would let you because they do not look down on such talented artists. In England everything was, and still is, so different. Even the most talented composers are considered ''working class''.

''You would have been ashamed of me?'' she asked him.

''No dearest, I am incredibly proud of what you have achieved. But no matter how cruel they were to you, I couldn't send John and his mother away for I would lose my job and the ability to take care of you. So I chose to send you to Paris where you could be exactly what you wanted to be: independent and properly loved. I have failed to protect you yes. But at that time I honoustly did not know what else I could have done for you''.

She was amazed and had to admit, this was not what she expected. She always believed her father had just abandoned her because he was ashamed of her. Because she was a scandal and needed to be rid of. But it seemed that the man standing before her, made a selfless decission which was indeed for the best. Also, she didn't know about the testomony and why he was bound to keep her aweful brother and his mother in the house. It all made sense now and she could feel the anger leaving her body, making place for some sympathy.

''I understand your position and I must admit I always thought you had different motives. I felt very alone back then. I lived in your household for 2 years. I have some memories of you which are very pleasent. I also remember the horrible things John and your wife did to me and I still feel you should have stood up for me because I am your daughter''.

They both remained silent for a while

''So, Where do we go from here?'' she broke the silence.

''I would very much like to spend time with you, get to know you and for you to get to know me and my life. Will you come and dine with me and my officers tomorrow? I will arrange a carriage for you which will pick you up at 6, we dine at 7 and you can stay the night if you wish, it gets dark ealy these winter days. Where are you staying?''

She smiled ''That would be a good start I think. I am staying at a hotel named The three horses a few miles from here. Would you consent if I wanted to bring a guest?'' she asked him.

''But of course, bring anyone you like, is it... is it a... a man?'' he asked her.

She let out a small giggle ''No its not, there is no man in my life, just a friend'' she replied.

Cornwallis was relieved ''I shall see you tomorrow then'' he said.

He wanted to walk towards her and hug her but wasn't sure she would accept. Maybe it was too soon. She noticed his hessitation and walked up to him, wrapped her arms around him and said ''See you tomorrow father, I am looking forward to it''.

This put a smile on his face. As she walked to the door to leave he said ''Euhm... and Rose...

''Yes father?''

''Do you think that... well... euhm... I was hoping that maybe you would wear a dress for dinner?'' he asked her.

''I think I can manage that, I do actually wear dresses when I'm not breaking into military estates'' she laughed as she closed the door behind her.

When she walked down the stairs she almost bumped into Tavington. He was looking grumpy as always.

''So, he decided to let his little patriotic daughter off the hook did he?'' he sneered at her.

With the most innocent, yet sarcastic, smile on her face she replied ''So it seems. And guess what, you will be seeing me around Colonel Tavington, because my father and I decided we would like to get to know one another. So tomorrow you and I will be dining together''. 

She paused for a second to study his face.

''And with a lot of other officers of course'' she finished her sentence.

''Well well well, isn't that interesting'' he replied.

''Au revoir colonel, and have a nice day'' she said as she left the mansion.

This would be an interesting diner party Tavington thought.


	5. Smart mouth

**AN: This is my favourite chapter so far! Please review and if you have ideas, let me know!**

''I'll help you with that Susan, we need to get going soon, the carriage is already here. Isn't this exciting sweetheart!'' Rose said as she helped the little girl with the ribbon in her hair. ''There, now you look just like a princess''.

Rose was wearing a white dress and a yellow cape with yellow gloves _( like Snow White in the movie 'Mirror mirror', when she runs through the forest, check it out)._

''Will we sleep in a castle also?'' the little girl asked her.

''I suppose it is something like a castle, yes. Now let's get going because else we will be late and frowned upon by British officers'' she chuckled.

They left the hotel and got into the carriage. It was only a few miles till they reached the military estate. It was a bit chilly so she was glad when they arrived. When they got out she saw a figure standing by the large window on the second floor. She couldn't quite make out who it was but it looked like Colonel Tavington.  
>Cornwallis was standing in the main hall to greet them.<p>

''I formally welcome you into my so called home, I believe you have never been here before madam?'' he joked at his daughter.

''Not that I remember no Sir'' Rose replied while she tried to supress her giggling.

''And who is this beautiful little angel?'' Cornwallis asked while he held out his hand to Susan.

''I'm Susan, I'm 7 years old'' she replied as she shyly tried to hide behind Rose's dress.

''This is Susan. She is part of the ballet in our opera. Three years ago she lost her parents so I take care of her'' Rose said as she protectively laid her hand on top of the girl's head.

''I see'' Cornwallis replied ''Well Susan, I welcome you too and hope you have a pleasent evening here. Now why don't we join the others in the parlour before we go to dinner? I shall introduce you to everyone but I must warn you, word has spread fast and everyone is dying to meet you''.

And so it was done. Cornwallis introduced his daughter to everyone. They were all curious about her and they all noticed her French accent. It was a sensitive topic because France was indirectly their enemy for helping the colonials in the war. And so the topic wasn't adressed. Rose suspected that her father had instructed everyone not to mention it. She tried to enjoy herself as much as possible but all the meaningless conversations and fake politeness really didn't help her case. She had to admit: British dinner parties, not the best entertainment she had been to. She got so bored that she lost sight of Susan. She searched around the room but couldn't find her anywhere. What if she had gone outside! She asked to be excused to quickly look for Susan in the estate. She practicly ran through the estate calling out Susan's name and entering every possible room. When she walked into the library she saw the little girl standing in front of a large bookcase.

She ran into the library and dropped to her knees to take the little girl in her arms.

''Susan! Sweety I've been looking all over for you, why did you just leave without saying anything to me. What if something would have happened to you!''

''Colonel Tavington would have protected me, he is a knight!'' Susan replied.

It wasn't until then that Rose saw Colonel Tavington standing next to the bookcase with a book in his hand, smirking. She sighed.

''Why is it, when there is trouble you are always around Colonel?''

''Ouch, you are hurting my feeling miss'' he said as he layed his hand on his chest, faking to be in some sort of heartache. ''I guess I have a natural talent for trouble'' he smirked at her.

''You musn't be angry with him Rose, we were just both so bored, and I wanted to read a book so Colonel Tavington showed me the library and got this book about dragons and princesses, there's knights also!'' Susan was all excited about it so Rose couldn't possibly be cross with her or Tavington.

''I'm sorry, I just don't want anything to happen to you'' she said as she stroke the little girl's head and kissed her cheek. Tavington had to admit: this was quite an adorable sight. ''Shall we go to dinner? I know that this may not be so much fun for you sweety but please try and behave a little, for me ok?'' she pleeded with Susan.

She stood up, took Susan's hand and walked towards the door when Tavington said ''For future references miss, you need not ever worry about Susan when she is around me, for I actually know how to properly protect a woman''.

Rose stared at him in confusion. What was the meaning of this comment? He either wanted to let her know that he knew how to protect a woman or he just wanted to make a snide remark towards her father. Probably the last option she thought...

_**Rosemary's POV:**_

So I take a seat at the dinner table which was pointed out for me, fancy buisiness! And I'm sitting opposite from General O'Hara, or as I would like to call him ''wig man''. I am absolutely certain that his brain is damaged by all the powder that he uses for his wig, and face. Sitting next to me is my father on the right side and Susan on my left.  
>And then the first problem occurs: there are a lot of different little forks, knifes and spoons for all the different courses and I have never been to such a classy dinner party. O dear lord, I'm going to make a total and utter fool out of myself.<p>

As the first course is served, I look around the room to see what fork the officers are picking up. But it seems to be British custody to let the lady go first because everyone keeps eyeing me and nobody picks up a bloody fork! MERDE! I curse to myself in French.  
>Then I see Tavington tapping his finger at the middle fork. Maybe he is just trying to fool me... I mean; why would the middle fork go first! That doesn't make sense. Oké Rose, keep a clear head and make up your mind. Pick the middle fork which Tavington pointed out for you OR pick the right fork which would make sense to me. But what do I know about all this Britisch stuff.<br>I pick up the fork which Tavington pointed out for me and the effect amazes me: everyone else does so too! So this is actually the right fork then? He didn't want to fool me? I whisper in my father's ear ''Was this the right fork?''

''Yes dearest, good guess'' he tells me.

I look up at Tavington and I can't make out whether he is smirking or smiling. My thoughts are being distracted so I didn't notice General Wig Man talking to me.

_**Normal POV**_

''I'm sorry you were saying?'' Rose asked O'Hara politely. Though she was very much not interested in his stories, she really wanted to be polite and not disgrace her father. But General O'Hara had spend the entire evening bragging to her about his achievements in life, his contribution in the war and what he would do when it was over. He also told her he wasn't married and loved children. This was such an obvious sign that she decided he needed to be put in his place. She was NOT interested in Wig man, he was arrogant, dishonoust and boring her to death. So it was for the best to settle this once and for all.

O'Hara wouldn't stop talking ''I was just stating that we cannot all be so lucky as I have been madam. You see some men are born wealthy and with the talent to become a high ranking officer in his Majesty's army, like myself for example. And then there are others (he was eyeing Tavington by now) who are born into deranged families, without wealth and with scandalous reputations and for some reason they also manage to become an officer, I cannot respect this, don't you agree miss?''

There we go... she thought.

''Actually General O'Hara, I must disagree with you. And I can hardly believe that an intelligent and sophisticated man such as yourself, from an esteemed family, would believe such... well such... nonsense, pardon my French. Personally I find it a much greater achievement when one would start at rock bottom and fight his way to the top, whilst battling with great misfortunes. I mean, think of all the life experience, knowledge, skills and wisdom such a man would acquire. Compare that man to the man who was just lucky to be born in a wealthy family. I think the man who struggled to become what he is today but never gave up on his dream, deserves the most respect. And If you will now excuse me, I am going to put this little girl to bed because it is way past her bedtime''.

The room had gone quiet as Rose stated her case. Her father was looking down at his plate wishing she had never opened up her smart mouth. ''We shall discuss this tomorrow'' he whispered in her ear.

''Come on sweety, let's get you to bed and if you don't put up a fight I'll read you a bedtime story about the knight and the princess. Excuse me gentlemen'' she said as she got up from her chair.

All the officers got up when she stood up and took Susan by the hand.

Tavington couldn't believe what he just heard. So she was a smart mouth with the insolence to insult an officer in public but her words moved him. Perhaps she knew about his life? No, of course not, she couldn't possibly know. But even if she did why would she choose his side like that. O'Hara's snide remarks were obviously meant for him but why would she, even is she did mean what she just said, side with him... Maybe she also felt... No stop that nonsense! he told himself. She was just a smart mouth who wanted to have an opinion on everything. 

Rose and Susan had both gotten their own room on the second floor. She put Susan to bed and went back to the party for a while. Quickly after that she excused herself to retire for the night. As she walked into her room she saw the book that Tavington got Susan. She read it to Susan before she fell asleep. Might as well bring it back to the library now, she thought. She picked up the book and went over to the library. Just when she put the book back on the shelf she heard a familiar voice say:

''Quite a performance tonight madam, I believe everyone was all ears when you openly insulted General O'Hara''. it was Tavington.

She turned around and saw he had taken a seat and filled himself a glass of wodka. She took a seat opposite from him and sighed.

''I know that my behaviour tonight hasn't been exactly... courteous'' she said as Tavington handed her a glass of wodka.

''That's quite the understatement'' he chuckled. ''And the General was trying so hard to impress you, imagine the heart ache he is going through right now'' Tavington sarcasticly stated.

She almost choked on her drink when he said this ''Trying to impress me? Are you mocking me sir? General Pompous Wig has insulted me in every way possible!'' she was astonished.

He chuckled. ''Insulted you? Why would you say that?'' he inquired.

She got up from the chair and walked over to the desk, while she leaned on the desk she studied his face. Did he really not know? Did her father not tell anyone or was it a public secret?

''Colonel, I am a bastard child who grew up in a seriously deranged family life, I was send away and now I am an unmarried woman with a profession and a child to take care of. I had a dream which I fulfilled by being dedicated and working hard. So everything that General O'Hara looks down on, could be described as... me''. She said as she laughed and put her hand in the air as if she wanted to say 'don't you see!'.

He smiled at her ''That is one way of looking at it. But your profession has made you quite famous. Your opera is very popular, people from all over the world come and see you, everyone wants to talk to you'' he said.

She smiled but shook her head ''Colonel, though I find it very courteous of you to turn it around like that, I think we both know that my profession hasn't exactly got the same social class as yours. People are always nice to my face. They compliment me, they want to talk to me, they want me to perform. But behind my back they gossip about me because I am 'working class'. Singing, dancing and even composing is a wonderful hobby, though as soon as you are good enough to make it your profession and actually work, you are no better than a common prostitute''.

''I dare to presume that I know how that feels, all the gossipping because of your background and family. Do you care what people think though?'' He asked her.

''No I do not, it strikes me as quite funny''. She paused for a couple of seconds. ''You make me curious, why would you say you understand the feeling of peoples gossiping? Why would people gossip about a high ranking officer such as yourself?'' she asked him.

He gave a smirk and said ''You flatter me miss. I shall answer your question honoustly. My father sqaundered his entire income on gambling and alcohol, and therefor our inheritance and any esteem our family name held. We were left with nothing when he died. I joined the army to take care of my little brother and sister. And there is also the fact that my war tactics are considered quite brutal'' Tavington had answered her honoustly and was wondering if she would now shy away from him.

''Well'' she let out a sigh ''War is brutal. And life is hardly ever peaceful''.

''You are a strange woman miss de la Porte'' Tavington said.

They paused for a second and stared at eachother.

''What happened to your brother and sister when they grew up?'' she asked him.

''They are both happily married and doing well for themselves'' he said.

She smiled ''It's nice how that works out for some people. I think I shall retire for the night Colonel. I bid you goodnight and sweet dreams''.

He walked her to the door and then took her hand to place a kiss on it. But when his mouth almost reached her palm he slightly turned it and kissed the inside of her wrist.

Her breathing faltered as her eyes widened.

''G.. g.. goodnight colonel''.

Maybe this was just Britisch custody also, musn't think too much of it she told herself.


	6. Unconventional

The next morning Tavington was called into Cornwallis' office to discuss his brutal tactics. When he came in Cornwallis was just showing General O''Hara the land he would be given when this war was over.

''It's a hundred thousand acres'' Cornwallis said.

''It's an imposing landground my lord, you will be a country under yourself'' O'Hara replied as he looked up at Tavington with an evil grin.

Tavington stared back at him, then followed him with his eyes as O'Hara made his way to the door. He couldn't stand this man. O'Hara was an airhead who became general mostly because his father was a general also.

''His Majesty is most generous my lord'' Tavington stated to Cornwallis.

When Cornwallis kept quiet Tavington realised he might have offended his superior so he continued;

''Though of course your service in this war more than warrant such a gift''. Sucking up was not one of his talents.

Cornwallis looked around his desk. ''Yes, this is how his Majesty rewards those who fight for him as gentlemen'' he said.

''I dare to presume my own meagre contributions will be rewarded one day'' Tavington replied.

''You may presume too much'' Cornwallis said as he let out a sigh and walked over to his desk.

There he continued; ''His Majesty, like history, judges us not only by the outcome of this war but by the manner of which it was fought''.

''My Lord?'' Tavington asked him. He was slightly confused. Never had he lost a battle and there was no other officer who could say the same.

''We serve the crown and we must conduct ourself accordingly. Surrendering troups will be given quarter, these brutal tactics must stop!'' Cornwallis raised his voice.

''Is it not enough my lord, that I have never lost a battle!'' Tavington said.

Just when Cornwallis wanted to reply and tell Tavington that his brutal actions would reflect upon him, they were interrupted by Rose who stormed into the office. Bare footed, in her white night gown, dark blue chamber coat and with her hair loosely braided.

''It's snowing! Oh, I mean... goodmorning... sorry..., But look it's snowing!'' she cried out as she ran to the largest window and leaned against the window pilar. She was as excited as a little girl on christmas morning.

''Rosemary! What on earth do you think you are doing!'' Cornwallis snapped at her.

''I... I was just stating that...'' she began her sentence

''Yes we can all see it is snowing, wonderful. You cannot just run in whenever you want to!'' Cornwallis was obviously taking it out on her.

''Well sorry but your door was open so I just assumed that...''

''Yes, you just assumed!'' he interrupted her ''You just assumed you can walk around this estate on your bare feet dressed in nothing but a night gown and chamber coat! Have you lost your mind young lady!'' Cornwallis yelled at her.

All the excitement left her face as she looked down at her night clothing and still didn't understand why this was unapropriate.

Tavington felt sorry for the young woman. She either knew nothing of British custody or she was simply mad. But mad or not, he couldn't help but stare at her in her night gown and braided hair with bare feet. Here it would be considered promiscuity but he guessed where she came from it wasn't frowned upon. Or maybe she just didn't care...

She bit her lip and said ''Sorry, I didn't know''

She looked up at her father and then at Tavington. She only looked at him for a moment but she could feel her face turning red because she was thinking of last night. When his lips were pressed upon the inside of her wrist and the sensation that this made her feel. He was thinking about the same thing and smirked at her blushed face.

''I'll go and change then'' she quickly said as she left the office.

* * *

><p>When she entered her room she found that one of the servants had prepared her a bath. While Rose took her bath she learned that the servant's name was Charlotte, she was 25 years old, married for 7 years now and pregnant for the 3th time. She had been working as a military servant for several years now, her husband was in the regiment also. Charlotte asked her if she wanted to lend a clean dress but Rose wanted to wear her own white dress.<p>

''Susan and I will need to get back to the hotel this afternoon so it's best if I get into my own dress again, but thanks Charlotte, thats very considerate of you'' she told the servant.

As she helped Rose in her dress they chatted some more and joked around about all the officers walking around the estate. Rose told her that she thought O'Hara looked ridiculous in his wig and couldn't understand why he choose to wear one.

''Well maybe his own hair looks funny or maybe he got bald very young'' they giggled.

''What would you like me to do with you hair mam?'' Charlotte asked her.

''Oh there's no need to fuss over that Charlotte, I'll brush it and just leave it hanging like this. Would you maybe like me to do you hair? I could braid it for you! You have such beautiful blonde hair you would look absolutely amazing!''

Charlotte was smiling from ear to ear and just when she wanted to reply and say yes, she got terribly noxious. She flinched and put both hands on her stomach whilst gasping in pain.

''My god Charlotte are you alright? Here, let me help you to the bed'' Rose laid her down on the bed and put her hand on her head to measure her temperature. She didn't feel too hot.

''It's alright miss, it's normal when you're pregnant to sometimes get these nausea's'' Charlotte replied as she tried to put on a smile on her face. ''And I need to get going because there is a lot of laundry that need to be hung up so it can dry''.

''I'm not letting you do that! I am getting a doctor for you and then I can do the laundry'' Rose said in a determinded voice.

''Miss I can't let you do that, you are the daughter of the Lord General and...''

Rose cut her off ''I don't care if I am the queen of England, I am doing the laundry and you will stay in bed and wait for the doctor, and thats an order'' Rose was dead serious.

* * *

><p>And so it was done. Rose send a doctor for Charlotte to her room, she dressed Susan and took her to the garden to play while she hung up the laundry.<p>

When she was just hanging up the last table cloth on the clothesline General O'Hara walked past and stopped when he saw what she was doing.

''Excuse me miss'' he intervened ''What exactly are you doing and why are you doing it?'' He raised his eyebrow at her.

''I hung up the laundry because Charlotte got a terrible nausea and needed to lay down'' she replied without even looking at him. She couldn't stand this man and his insufferable arrogance.

''Who is Charlotte?'' O'Hara asked with serious confusion on his face.

''Charlotte is a military servant who always does the laundry in the military estate. She has been doing this for several years now, funny you don't know who she is''.

''Who ever she is, you are not her. And it is very much unapropriate for a young lady such as yourself to do the laundry in a military estate. If your father would hear about this he would be cross with you'' General O'Hara smirked at her as if he tried to blackmail her.

''My father is already cross with me''. She paused for a second ''Don't you have better things to do than telling me what I can or can't do General?'' she was now seriously annoyed with O'Hara.

''You know miss'' he said in a smooth voice ''If you would only allow me, I could teach you the proper ways of a lady'' he said.

''I'm sure you could General, but that would include letting you near me within twenty feet. Which would result into a constant emotion of pure loathing on my side. Also there is the danger of me choking on the powder on your face. And now that we are discussing your appearance anyway: you look absolutely ridiculous with that bird nest on your head''. She could hardly believe what she just said but at least he would stay away now.

General O'Hara hurried inside the estate, surely to tell Cornwallis how his daughter just misbehaved. Behind her she heard the sounds of applauds.

When she turned around the face of Colonel Tavington was smirking at her. She sighed and let out a small laugh.

''Wonderful performance again miss De La Porte. I couldn't have said it better myself''

Just when she wanted to reply she heard her name being called from the estate. Her father practicly yelled out her name in anger. ''ROSEMARY DE LA PORTE!''

She sighed and rubbed her temples with her fingers whilst she walked up to Tavington. She stopped to look up at him.

''I seem to be doing everything wrong around here Colonel. First the lack of table manners including the insulting of a high ranking officer, I walk around in my night gown like a barbarian and apparantly helping out servants in need isn't allowed either''. She rolled her eyes and laughed.

''Well miss, if it makes you feel any better I very much enjoy seeying you verbally destroy General O'Hara. And I wouldn't consider walking around in a night gown barbaric, it's just... well... It is already hard enough for the men to keep their eyes off you.'' With that he turned around and left.

I better go inside and speak to my father about this, she thought to herself.


	7. A private performance

**AN: When I am writing this I listen to Emilie Autumn most of the time, she is a great inspiration. Especially the songs named: **_Marry me, Shalott, Rapunzel, Gentlemen aren't nice, If you feel better, Juliet, Rose Red, Let it die, What if, and Thank god I'm pretty. _

**I advice you to listen to the song ''Marry me'' for this chapter. Because it's part of it :-) I do not own it however, sadly enough.**

''Yes father?'' Rosemary walked into his office and put on her most innocent smile.

Cornwallis looked up at her from his desk and sighed. ''Rosemary... I really want to make an effort for us. I honoustly want us to start building some kind of family relationship but can you please also make a little effort for me?''

''I don't know what you mean'' she replied innocently.

''Ooooh but I think you do young lady. Insulting a general and doing servants chores? '' he paused for a second and then continued. ''I do very much support that you make up your mind about things and be critical. But English people are different from the French. We find politeness the first priority in every conversation so we try and be subtle about everything. I must ask you to adapt just a little dearest''. He looked at her with a begging expression.

She looked down at the floor and then back at her father. She knew he was right and felt sorry for him. She should adapt a little bit.  
>''I know that you are right father. And I shall try and adapt. I will not walk around in a nightgown, will not do servants chores and I will try and stay away from your General because his voice makes my skin crawl''.<p>

This made him smile slightly. ''I am pleased you are willing to make an effort also. You know... I have this idea and I am curious what you think of it. How long will you be staying in South Carolina for?'' Cornwallis asked his daughter.

''Well, that's a difficult question to answer. At first I just came to steal my mothers locket and then I would leave again. Now things have turned around and I guess I should leave at some point because you are fighting a war so my timing is poor'' she replied.

''Well, why don't you stay for Christmas and New Years eve? It's already December and with this weather it's difficult, not to mention extremely uncomfortable, to travel all the way back to Paris. I would love it if you and Susan would, for the time being, stay with me in the estate. Maybe it's possible to work on your opera here during the day? We have a piano forte in the salon and it's a lot safer here than at some hotel. How do you feel about this?'' he asked her.

''Mmmm... It does sound like a good idea. And if General O'Hare leaves me in peace I might actually enjoy it'' she chuckled.

Cornwallis' face turned serious ''General O'Hara is a very decent gentlemen and a very populair bachelor. Maybe... if you would get tot know him...''

She interrupted him ''NO! Father I am not here to get married. Marriage would mean the end of my career and I am not giving that up for anyone''

She hessitated for a second but continues: ''I do not believe in love strongly enough to risk that for any man. I will stay at your estate so we can get to know eachother and I will work during the day. But there will be NO matchmaking!'' she stated in a determined voice.

Cornwallis couldn't help but laugh. ''Alright alright, do not fred my dear, I shall not try any sort of matchmaking. I wouldn't wish you upon my worst enemy'' he chuckled at her.

She also started laughing and looked him in the eyes. They laughed together for the first time and realised this was a special moment. It was the beginning of how a real faughter-daughter connection should be. At that point they both knew that everything would work out, they weren't too different after all.

* * *

><p>When Rose told Susan the news that they would be spending Christmas and New years eve at the estate the little girl was overjoyed. According to susan there were so many exciting things to do around the estate which she named 'castle', not to mention all the real knights everywhere!<p>

They went to the hotel one more time to pack their belongings. She looked around the room she and Susan had stayed in a couple of nights. It was nothing special but she felt she had to say goodbye because she was starting a whole new adventure.

''You really do travel lightly don't you?'' Cornwallis asked his daughter when she returned that night.

''Well, I care very little for material things so I only pack what I need. And those who carry very little, can't loose too much'' she replied.  
>It was true. Rose didn't care much for stuff. She and Susan had packed some clothes and money and took off.<p>

''Very wise my dear, I dare to say you have inherited my wit!'' Cornwallis joked at her. ''Why don't you let the servants carry your stuff to the guest room and you and Susan can unpack and rest a bit first. Maybe tonight you can show me what you have been working on for your opera?'' Cornwallis asked her.

''Of course, though it's not a very conventional opera. It's more like a musical play'' she replied.

* * *

><p><strong>Rosemary's POV:<strong>

For the next few days I was working in the salon during the day, composing music and songs for the opera, teaching Susan and sometimes we went outside for a walk or I would go for a horse ride.

It's already December 15 and I find myself staring out the window overlooking the gardens and not being able to concentrate at all on my composition.

I've not seen Tavington since the day I insulted that creepy General guy and got in trouble for it. Though I wonder why he comes to mind, why would I care for seeying Tavington. Well it is a little bit boring at the estate sometimes. And up till now the interactions with the Colonel have always been sort of funny and exciting. He is less stuffy than the other people around here, maybe a bit more like me even. I guess that is why I like running into him.

Fine... I will admit my sin: I believe I have never seen a man as handsome as Colonel Tavington. Happy now? There, I admit to it, I am physically very attracted to Colonel Tavington. Come on, I am a 23 year old woman with no male experience. So what would you expect! Some might beg to differ but I am not made of stone!  
>I have had suitors back in Paris and London. A lot actually. But I never... well... I never.. you know. Because I wasn't in love and I feel those two things should be combined. I've been in love once before but I chose my career. So I guess I wasn't in love enough back then, hence I made the right choice.<br>I hardly even know Colonel Tavington, I mean: What is his first name?. He is just very attractive and that is all.

And it does not even matter, there is no room for a husband in my life... Why did I say husband! I just meant, no room for a man in my life. I have a career which I must give up if I were to marry. Not to mention his social class is way above me, therefor I am beneath him. I am probably not British enough for him, he would be ashamed of me and send me away sooner or later. There is no such thing as an 'unconditional everlasting love'.

Well, there is some good inspiration for a song.

I practise some more and just when it's almost finished I hear the door behind me opening up.

''Susan, have you found any nice books in the libra...''

When I turned around I saw that it wasn't Susan. It was Colonel Tavington. Was he smiling at me? No it could not be... it was his usual smirk.

**Normal POV:**

''I am suprised, yet pleased, to find you are here again miss de la Porte'' he said in a deep voice.

''Actually Colonel, it is not so that I am here again. I am still here. My father invited me to stay for Christmas and to celebrate New Year's eve so I decided to stay for a while and work here, before I return to Paris''. she replied.

''Well, that is definetly a fortunate turn of events. You see I never got the chance to say goodbye to you, for I was called away on urgent buisiness'' he closed the door and slowly made his way over to where she was sitting, behind the pianoforte.

Her heart started to beat faster.

''What are you currently working on madam?'' he asked whilst taking place behind her, standing only a few inches away from her.

''It will be a musical play, about Marie Antoinette, our ill fated queen. You might have heard about her'' she replied as she looked up to him. She didn't notice how close he was to her untill she looked up at him.

''Would you mind showing me what you have composed so far?''

''Well, it's not quite finished yet, there are some words you see... I need to change them because they are considered a little bit... unconventional? I always write what comes to mind, I can hear the melodies in my head. Though I would not want to shock you Colonel, you will find it a unapropriate song'' she told him as she turned around to face the pianoforte again.

He leaned forward, and by the sight of her chest this made her breathing grow heavier. When his lips were almost touching her ear he whispered ''I am not a man who is shocked quite so easily, so try me, because I can't wait to hear what you had in mind''.

He walked around to the other side of the pianoforte so he could face her and there he leaned against the fall, grinning down at her.

''You try to intimidate me Colonel?'' she asked him.

''Maybe a little'' he smirked at her.

''Well, I am not a woman who is intimidated quite so easily, so try me'' she replied as she narrowed her eyes at him.

She took a deep breathe to calm herself down and started playing the song about Marie Antoinette.

_Marry me, he said, through his rotten teeth, bad breath, and then  
>Marry me instead of that strapping young goatherd, but when<br>I was in his bed, and my father had sold me  
>I knew I hadn't any choice, hushed my voice, did what any girl would do and<br>When I'm beheaded at least I was wedded  
>And when I am buried at least I was married<br>I'll hide my behavior with wine as my savior_

_But, oh, what beautiful things I'll wear_  
><em>What beautiful dresses and hair<em>  
><em>I'm lucky to share his bed<em>  
><em>Especially since I'll soon be dead<em>

_Marry me, he said, god, he's ugly, but fortune is ours_  
><em>Running in the gardens enjoying men, women, and flowers<em>  
><em>Then I break a glass and I slit my own innermost thigh<em>  
><em>So that I can pretend that I'm menstru...well, unavailable<em>  
><em>My life is arranged but this union's deranged<em>  
><em>So I'll fuck who I choose for I've nothing to lose<em>  
><em>And when master's displeased I'll be down on my knees again<em>

_Oh, what beautiful things I'll wear_  
><em>What beautiful dresses and hair<em>  
><em>I'm lucky to share his bed<em>  
><em>Especially since I'll soon be dead<em>

_When dining on peacock I know I won't swallow_  
><em>Through balls, births, and bridge games I know what will follow<em>  
><em>We're coupled together through hell, hurt, and hunger<em>  
><em>Or at least until husband finds someone younger<em>  
><em>Yes, fertilization is part of my station<em>  
><em>I laugh as he drabs me in anticipation<em>  
><em>Of sons who will run things when I'm under covers<em>  
><em>But whose children are they? Why, mine and my lover's!<em>

_But, oh, what beautiful things I'll wear_  
><em>What beautiful dresses and hair<em>  
><em>I'm lucky to share his bed<em>  
><em>Especially since I'll soon be dead<em>  
><em>What beautiful things I'll wear<em>  
><em>What beautiful dresses and hair<em>  
><em>I'm lucky to share his bed<em>  
><em>So why do I wish I was...<em>

As she performed for him, his eyes moved slowly from her eyes to her full lips, down her neckline, strings of hair were dancing around her tall slender neck, his eyes moved further down to her chest which was moving up and down...,  
>He needed to control himself, this woman aroused him like no other woman ever had before.<br>He imagined what it must feel like to kiss those lips, caress that little neck and then move further down to her throat to reach her chest and just...

When she hit the last note the room fell silent as she looked up at the Colonel.

''So... What do you think Colonel? Shocked yet?'' she asked with a mischievous look on her face.

''Astonished!'' he mockingly replied. ''You sing beautifully madam, I will make sure to recommend you perform this very composition at the Christmas dinner party so your father and all the other officers are able to enjoy it as much as I have''.

''You will do no such thing!'' her eyes spread wide open and she stood before him within 2 seconds, pointhing her finger in his face.

He gazed at her with a naughty look in his eyes, then he took her small hand in his hand and directed it out of his face. When he started laughing she finally understood he was merely joking with her.

''Oh, you were only joking, I see... well...'' suddenly she noticed he was still holding her hand.

''I should get Susan from the library, so if you will excuse'' she then quickly left the room.


	8. Past the point of no return

**AN: Sorry I cannot write as often as I would like. I am very busy writing my thesis. **

**But here is another chapter! And this time… ;-)**

The following week continued the same way: Susan and Rose practiced in the salon and Rose worked hard to finish her opera in time. Sometimes she saw Colonel Tavington coming back from raids and they would greet or chat a bit. It felt a little awkward and Rose knew she should stay away from him, but she couldn't. There was this strange attraction which drew her nearer to him. Her mind would resist him but her soul… she just couldn't stay away.

But she knew there was no room for a man in her life and this silly schoolgirl crush had to be over and done with!

Yet every time she saw him her body started shivering and she longed for… for what exactly? she wondered. She didn't know what she longed for.

Even though she did believe in true love, it just wasn't for her. What man would even want a woman like her. She was working class, there was Susan who needed to be taken care of and she knew perfectly well about her smart mouth. Men want nice and quiet women who don't have an opinion on everything. And then of course there were the scars John had left her with. Not just emotional, but physical. Imagine a wedding night and her husband would undress her… then he would see… he would see them and find out how hideous she really was. '_No Rose, let's not get your hopes up'_ she told herself.

* * *

><p>The following evening when she had dinner with her father he told her there would be a special Christmas ball. And Christmas was only 5 days away.<p>

"Will you accompany your father or do you have a special someone already that you wish to go with?" Cornwallis asked his daughter. The truth was, no one knew about the ball yet except for Cornwallis and he didn't want to let his daughter out of his sight on this special night. So he made sure to ask her before anyone else did.

"You know very well there is no special someone father, so I will be glad to accompany you'' she replied and chuckled at him.

* * *

><p>The night before the ball Rose was lying awake in bed. She heard the clock in the main hall stroke twelve and she still wasn't asleep. She just couldn't stop thinking about everything. Things went really well with her father, they were really getting to know each other. But she and Susan both needed stability. She couldn't just travel around the world anymore, as if it was just her life in on the line. And then there was Colonel Tavington with whom she felt some strange sort of connection, but did he feel it too or was he just a man who liked to tease women and play around with them? Aren't most men like that? Rose wondered.<p>

The clock stroke 1 'o clock. She was still wide awake and twirling around in her bed. So she got up, grabbed her chamber coat and book and walked downstairs to get some water and read for a little while till she was tired enough.

After she had made herself some tea she lit a candle and made herself comfortable on the sofa near the window in the parlor. This was the book she had read Susan. It was all about fairy tales and happy endings and therefore not meant for grown women. But she didn't care, she loved fairy tales and happy endings. God knows she had known very little of them. Whilst she read it she imagined what it would be like to live in such an exciting very tale, in a castle or in the woods with knights and kings. She got so swallowed up by the book she didn't notice someone coming into the parlor, placing his candle on the table next to her. The sound of it startled her, she quickly turned around and dropped the book on the floor.

" Wha.. oh… Colonel Tavington'' she whispered as she looked up to him.

He was bare footed, wearing only his black breeches and white shirt. His hair was hanging loosely over his shoulders which made her believe he just got out of bed.

"I do apologize to have startled you miss" he said as he reached for the book and handed it to her with one of his familiar smirks on his face.

"It is of no worry" she said and got up to place to book on the table.

"Trouble sleeping?'' he asked her.

"Yes, it's probably the excitement before Christmas" she said and smiled at him.

"Do you enjoy Christmas that much?" he asked as he joined her next to the table.

" I do enjoy Christmas very much yes. It's by far the best holiday there is. Everything is decorated so beautifully and there is snow and everyone just seems happy...'' She paused for a second.  
>"So… How come you are awake Colonel?".<p>

"Actually…" he said as he smirked at her "You woke me up. I heard a sound so I decided to see what it was. You never know, might be another thief breaking into the estate. But it turns out I found my own familiar thief who has already caused me so much distress by breaking into the estate once".

She chuckled at him. "I am sincerely sorry about that night. Especially about… well… you know…"

"About what madam?" he asked as he came standing a bit closer to her. He was eyeing her nightgown. It was a pure white nightgown with a low cut neckline. No corset of course so he wondered if he would just slid his hand… then he could feel her curves and….

"Well about kicking you… in your… where it really hurts…" She felt a slight blush on her cheeks. Then decided to just say it. "Your groin.. I apologize for kicking you in the groin" she said as she straightened her back pretending not to be a little bit embarrassed.

He smirked at her. "That's quite alright madam, all is done and forgiven. So tell me, what were you reading?"

"Just a fairy tale book Colonel. I am almost ashamed to admit to it. But I was reading about princesses, dragons and knights. And of course a lot of happily ever after's'' she replied.

"Well, you need not be ashamed, we all like our happily ever after's. Did the book have any good advice on how this war will end?'' he asked her.

"Well, if the fairy tales are right then you probably won't win'' she stated.

"And why is that?'' he asked as he narrowed his eyes at her.

"In fairy tales the good knights always win" she said as she determinedly looked up to him.  
>This was the one thing they would utterly disagree on. He was loyal to the crown and she was French, supporting the colonials and wishing for them that this would end well.<p>

''I see… And the good knights would be the colonials in your opinion?.'' He stated as he raised his eyebrows and looked at her fiercely.

Now she was annoyed with him. Did he really want to start an arguement with her in the middle of the night?  
>He knew perfectly well about her feeling on this war so why start this stupid endless discussion!<p>

"What would you like me to say Colonel? Your king has forced some ridiculous inhuman laws down the throats of the colonials. They want to be free and can you really blame them! You think you can just invade a country and colonize everything! It's ludicrous!'' she sneered at him.

"You have no idea what you are talking about. Do you have ANY idea what consequences it will have for England but also for the colonies if they would win this war? The social consequences not to mention the economic consequences!'' he hissed at her as he came closer to where she was standing next to the table.

"I don't care about the consequences, they will need to rebuild sure, but at least they will be freed from British tyranny and will not be treated like second hand citizens!'' she hissed back at him, she clenched her fist in anger and just couldn't believe his narrow mindedness.

"You are stubborn and you know nothing of war! What you are standing for is pure treason madam and I would watch my tongue if I were you! Your father won't always be around to protect you'' he threatened her.

"Are you seriously trying to scare me by threatening me? What do you plan to do? Have me hanged for speaking my mind!'' she said as she provocatively came closer and smirked at him.

He didn't reply and just stared at her in anger, this time he was really going to lose his temper. He could feel his blood boiling in his veins.

She smirked. "No I didn't think so… You don't have it in you Colonel…'' she said as she walked past him towards the door to leave this room.

He was there within 2 seconds, seized her wrist and yanked it hard. She stumbled back by the force of it and landed against the table. He grabbed both her wrists and pinned them on the table.

"I am done playing games!" he whispered in her ear.

He leaned back to stare into her emerald green eyes, they were filled with shock and surprise. Rose didn't immediately understand what just happened. But then his face came closer to hers and he pressed his warm lips upon hers. At first he was gentle but then with more force he opened up her mouth so his tongue could enter. She didn't object, god knows how long she had longed for this. She moaned as his tongue explored her mouth. He slowly let go of her wrist and lifted her upon the table so he could wrap his left arm around her waist and pull her closer to him. He could now feel her body heat against his chest and as he kept exploring her mouth, he could feel he was growing hard. He had wanted her from the moment he caught her breaking into the estate that night. When she was pinned beneath him on the floor he wanted to take her there and then. But he couldn't and since that moment he dreamt about how soft she would feel, how it would be to kiss these lips and now she was finally giving herself willingly to him. He could feel the eagerness of her body moving against his.

His right hand moved towards her face. He caressed her cheek as they stared at each other both knowing how they had wanted this for such a long time. Then he stroke her hair back and rested his hand on the back of her neck. They kissed more gently. Slowly moving their lips and tongue around. She wrapped her hands around him and lifted up his shirt to feel him. She let her hand slide over his back, then back up to where his broad shoulders were. Her legs opened up a bit so he could lean into her. Her chamber coat had fell off and was hanging around her waist by now. They wouldn't stop tasting each other as his hands moved over her stomach, slightly touched her breast and then stroke her shoulder. In one sudden movement he pulled down the short sleeves of her night gown, reveiling her shoulders. He started kissing her neck and shoulders and Rose gasped for air. Never had she felt this enchanting excitement in her life. She couldn't believe what he was doing to her, and that she allowed it.

His left arm was still around her waist pulling her closer and closer to him. His lips were slowly moving downstairs till he reached her breast and suddenly she felt his tongue around her nipple. Her body shocked as she gasped for air. He could feel her pulling back so he pressed his lips on hers again and drew her closer back into him. With his right hand he reached for the bottom of her night gown and slowly slid his hand underneath it to feel her legs. His hand slowly moved up where he could feel the soft skin of her upper legs. He caressed the soft skin of her left leg and she let out a small moan when she felt his hand on the inside of her thigh.

"Colonel… wait… we can't…" she breathed heavily.

"My name is William… say it….Say "William I want you".'' he seductively whispered as he slid one finger inside to feel the wetness of her inner thighs.

"Aah… William…'' she let out as she grasped the back of his neck and drew him closer so she could taste his lips again.

"William… we mustn't…" she needed to tell him to stop but she couldn't.. she wouldn't…

"I will stop only if you tell me you feel nothing for me. Tell me you don't feel the same way as I do… I want you Rose…, I've wanted you since the night we met and I can't get you out of my head. You have bewitched me, body and soul." he said whilst continuing to stimulate her.

" I can't… we should…'' she tried but didn't really want to object to him. She kissed him again and instinctively moved her hands down his chest towards his breeches.

The door opened and suddenly they were interrupted by a servant who couldn't believe his eyes.

''I am so sorry Sir… I … Well.. I heard a noise… thought I needed to check it out…'' the servant tripped over almost every words he spoke, utterly embarrassed by what he had just seen.

Rose quickly pulled up her night gown and chamber coat and said "Do...do not worry, I...I... was just leaving…" she stuttered  
>She then quickly walked around the servant and practically ran upstairs to her room. As she closed the door behind her she closed her eyes, leaned against the door and sighed.<p>

What had she done…


	9. Confessions to a friend

''Merry Christmas!'' Charlotte cried out as she entered Rose's room to lit the fire place and get Rose dressed.

"Wake up you sleepy head, it's your big day!'' Charlotte said as she lightly shook Rose awake.

"ggrrrmm" Rose moaned. "Please, leave me alone, I want to stay in bed" she mumbled from underneath the pillow .

"What's wrong with you? I thought you loved Christmas! No one is fighting a war on Christmas so the estate is extremely busy. Susan is already downstairs. I thought I saw her playing with Colonel Tavington. They were fighting a dragon together, it was quite a sight to see him like that" Charlotte chuckled. "You should go and join them Rose, they would like that, and so would you" Charlotte said with an meaningful smile as she lit the fireplace to warm up the room.

Charlotte walked over to Rose and pulled away the pillow under which she was hiding.

Rose looked up at Charlotte in despair. "I need to tell you something Charlotte, I have done something so… so… so incredibly stupid." She paused for a second to sit up in bed. "I feel so embarrassed" she added.

"You can tell me whilst you take your bath, it will also make you feel better, come one'' Charlotte summoned Rose towards the bath tub.

As she sunk into the hot water she told Charlotte everything. About the interactions with the Colonel. About how she was attracted to him but still wanted him at save distance because she refused to give up her freedom for a man. And then she also told Charlotte every intimate detail about last night. How she couldn't sleep, how Colonel Tavington startled her, how they had argued about the war, about the kiss and then how his hands were touching her everywhere and that's when she realized that she wanted this, how she had wanted this for a such a long time. She also confessed she wouldn't know where they had ended up if the servant wouldn't have caught them in time.

"To be honoust Rose, I already knew. The servant who caught you is my husband Joseph. He told me what he had seen when he came back to bed. I told him to never tell anyone what he had seen. You got lucky young lady. If another servant would have caught you, you would have been the talk of the town by now." she reprimanded Rose like a stern school teacher.

Then she burst out in laughter. ''It's perfect, don't you see?'' Charlotte cried out "You and Tavington are practically made for each other. I don't know him that well but I know he's got a temper. Just like someone else I know." Charlotte giggled at her.

"Since I do NOT have a temper you better not be talking about me!" Rose said as she glanced evilly at Charlotte.

Charlotte cocked her eyebrow at Rose.

"Mmm… fine… point taken" Rose said. "But the thing is… Charlotte… I cannot be in love! I am not allowed. I am not willing to give up my freedom for a man. I do not believe in the loyalty of a man. I have seen love being deceitful. Stabbing you in the back at first chance. I cannot take that risk. I also need to think about Susan, she is the most important person in my life." Rose said.

"Well missy, I think I know a lot more about love than you. I have been married for a long time and we are still in love. My Joseph has never cheated on me, nor I on him." Charlotte said haughtily.

Rose chuckled "I am sorry, I did not mean to say that all men are pure evil. But… Love just… it just isn't for me I guess".

Charlotte sighed "If love is not for you, then why have you fallen in love?" she asked her.

"What! I never said I was in love! Who told you I am in love! Rose asked in shock.

"Love does not need to be spoken of. It's a kind of magic which you carry around, a blind man can see it on you" Charlotte replied. "Promise me something... Dance with him at the ball tonight, and tell me you feel nothing when you come back. If you can convince me… you might be able to convince yourself too".

"I cannot dance with Colonel Tavington! When I touch him I just… I don't know… It feels as if my world is spinning around in my head and time stops. I need to stay away from him!" Rose said.

"If you don't dance with him, you will be forced to dance with O'Hara who will no doubt ask you for several dances if he gets the chance" Charlotte replied as she smirked at Rose.

"And by the way…" Charlotte continued "If you are not in love, what harm can one dance do?" she smirked.

"Charlotte, who says he will even ask me?" Rose asked her.

"Are you serious? I am not even going to answer that. You are not only stubborn you are also blind. Servants gossip you know, and we have all seen the changes in him the last few weeks. Colonel Tavington will only have eyes for one person tonight. So let's get you into this pretty gown and make you the belle of the ball!" Charlotte excitedly stated.

She dressed Rose in a beautiful soft green dress which complimented her eyes. The dress was widened by the petticoats underneath the skirt. It almost seemed strapless because of the tiny short sleeves which were made from see-through lace.

Whilst she brushed her hair they chatted some more. Charlotte would take care of Susan because she was too young to go to a ball.

"Well, they are waiting for you downstairs. You're leaving for Middleton Place and you will have a great night there!" Charlotte said as she hugged rose and wished her luck.

"Thank you Charlotte, for everything, for being my friend and making me feel better" Rose said.

"That's okay. You go and have a great time. I can't wait to hear how it went!" Charlotte replied excitedly.

Rose nervously made her way to the door.

_Here we go _she thought as she walked downstairs to meet her father and the other officers.


	10. The ball

_**Tavington's POV**_

This bloody Christmas ball. Just perfect. As if I have time to visit such primitive social gatherings. Who made this ridiculous rule anyway, about us not fighting a war on Christmas. HOW ON EARTH can one pause a war for a couple of days. These days would be perfect to make a surprise attack on those insufferable colonials! But no! We are to go to a Christmas ball…

My thoughts are interrupted as I see her walking down the long staircase.  
>All kinds of immoral thoughts immediately pop up in my head. For Christ sake. Just when I thought she couldn't look more beautiful she comes walking downstairs like this. I can see her entire shoulders. Those shoulders she allowed me to caress… and kiss...<br>If only that bloody servant had not come in! It was quite clear where we would have ended up. I would have lifted her up, carried her into my bedroom and made endless love to her…  
>Who needs sleep.<br>O well,… that chance has passed now. Unfortunately…. Maybe she won't give in so easily next time, she might be more on her guard. But then again, she wanted it just as much as I did, her body was moving against mine the entire time…

She avoids my gaze. I need to restrain myself from laughing. She cannot even look at me after last night, poor girl. But it merely proofs that she has some deeper feelings than just physical attraction. She must feel the same way as I do. I think tonight will be the perfect opportunity to tease her a bit. Maybe it will be more fun than I thought.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Normal POV<strong>_

The party made their way to Middleton Place where they first had dinner together. Rose was sitting far away from Tavington which she was very thankful for. And yet not so thankful. She was confused on how she felt. She wanted to be near him, though tonight might not be the best timing. Things needed to cool down a bit and then she could talk to him about the incident. But not tonight, tonight she would remain close to her father. That way maybe Tavington wouldn't come near her or try to seduce her again.

The dinner ended and after everyone had refreshed themselves in their guestrooms, they made their way to the ballroom. Rose remained close to her father and was introduced to some more people, one of them being the Middleton family who owned the mansion.

Rose and her father were standing next to the dance floor. She saw Colonel Tavington dance with some woman and it made her feel uncomfortable. A bit jealous even though she hated to admit that. Why did he not just ask her to dance? Did he want to provoke her? Make her jealous? _Or maybe he is just the kind of guy who likes to play with someone's feelings_she thought.

"Do you dance miss De La Porte?" O'Hara asked her as he came standing next to her.

"Not if I can help it" she replied without even looking at him. This made her father glare at her with a disapproving look and O'Hara immediately turned around and walked away. Good riddance.

A little while later Cornwallis came standing next to his daughter "Dearest, you are being most anti-social. This is a ball, therefor dancing is part of it. Three people have asked you to dance and every time you make up some excuse not to dance. Also, you promised not to be rude to General O'Hara anymore, remember?" he asked her. Then he saw the look on her face and asked "Is everything alright with you tonight? You seem so… well so… unlike yourself tonight".

She sighed. "I just have not slept properly and you are right, I will watch my tongue. Can I make it up to you by asking you to dance?" she giggled at her father.

"Well it's very unconventional for a lady to ask a gentleman but since unconventional is your trademark I shall make an exception" Cornwallis said as he took her hand and lead her to the dance floor.

They danced together for a while and just when the second waltz began they were interrupted.

"My Lord General, would you mind if I cut in and dance with the young lady?" it was Colonel Tavington and Rose's heart skipped a beat. Then she remembered the promise she made to Charlotte. She would dance with him and proof she was able to resist him, that this was just a foolish crush which had to be dealt with.

"No objections Colonel, if the young lady does not" her father answered haughtily.

"I would love to" Rose answered as she stared at his chest. She placed one hand in his and the other on his chest. She couldn't look him in the eyes.

They danced together and none of them spoke one word. Rose still did not dare to look into his eyes. Was it embarrassment or the fear of not being able to resist him? Then he finally spoke:

"Why won't you look at me Rose?" he whispered in her ear. Then he slightly tilted up her head to meet her eyes. She was forced to look at him but did not blush though.

"I do not know Colonel…"

"I told you to call me William" he interrupted her.

"William, I feel a little embarrassed about last night" she answered.

"Do you have regrets?" he asked her slightly disappointed.

"No I do not. I desired every moment of it and that is why I am embarrassed. I was wrong to not resist you" she replied.

"How can it be wrong for two people who long for each other, to pursue these desires?" he asked her as he intensely stared into her eyes.

"I cannot pursue you William" she answered him in a small voice.

"Why not? Are you married?" he asked.

"No, I am not married how can you even ask me that. I would have never done what I did last night if I were married… Wait… Are YOU married?" her eyes widened in shock as she asked him this.

He chuckled "Of course not, I am just teasing you" he said whilst he pulled her closer to him and placed a small kiss on her forehead.

"Don't do that! People will see!" she replied and took a small step away from him.

"So let them see, what have we to hide?" He paused for a second. Then he pulled her closer again and slowly lifted up her chin so her eyes would meet his once more. "Tell me you feel nothing for me and I shall leave you alone" when she said nothing he continued "We are both outcasts, different than those around us, we should be toge…" he was suddenly interrupted by Cornwallis who stepped in.

"Rose, dearest, I want you to meet someone" Cornwallis said as he took her by the shoulders and turned her around away from Tavington.

She met the eyes of a 30 year old man, hair black as raven and hazel brown eyes…. John… her brother and biggest fear.  
>Her body froze in one spot, she couldn't move or breath. Mortal fear took over her mind as she just stared in horror at the sight she had just been confronted with.<p> 


	11. A blast from the past

********FLASHBACK*****,**  
><strong><em>15 years earlier, London, England<em>**

In the middle of the playroom a little girl with long red hair was tied to a table. Her simple grey dress was torn at the back. Torn by the strikes of a whip.  
>Next to her stood a boy of 15 with raven black hair.<p>

"Mother says you're a witch. She says you are despicable and that Satan has created you through your unholy mother who is now burning in hell. She says we need to whip you to get the devil out of you. That's the only way we can save you from the fiery pits of hell".

The little girl kept quiet. Too scared to say anything. But she let out a small cry.

"Stop crying you motherless whore! If you don't stop crying I will whip you again before mother comes back with the poker. She will burn the devil right out of you"

The little girl silently wept. "Why do you do this? Please let me go I did not take your book I swear".

"SHUT UP! I TOLD YOU TO STOP CRYING" the boy yelled in a mentally insane voice. "You are a lying little slut! You took my book, now you must be punished for it."

Then he picked up the whip once more…

* * *

><p><strong>******Back to reality******<strong>  
><strong><em>15 years later, Middleton Place, American Colonies.<em>**

Her stomach turned and dizziness almost overtook her.

She ran outside as fast as she could, pushed aside the people in her way and as soon as she was on the terrace she ran down the stairs. Just when she reached the bushes her stomach turned upside down and she puked out the entire Christmas dinner. When her stomach was completely empty she dropped to her knees and let out everything. She started crying and couldn't stop.

Years of physical and mental torture. Her father never being there to stand up for her. He should have been there to protect her. The abuse. No love. Loneliness. No friends. Everything just came out with the tears she shed.  
>Suddenly she felt someone handing her a handkerchief. She looked up to see it was Colonel Tavington. He stared at her in remorse, sympathy was even showing in his eyes. She thankfully took the handkerchief and cleaned her eyes and mouth with it. As he helped her up Cornwallis walked outside.<p>

"Rose, dearest, I am so sorry, I did not mean to frighten you…" he started but she immediately interrupted him. She was insane with anger.

"What did you expect! How can you do this to me, to invite that… that monster!" She yelled at her father. "You have absolutely no idea what they have done to me have you? Of course not. You were never there!"

"Rose please, I just wanted to…" Cornwallis tried to explain

"WHAT! What did you want father? To make things right? You should have thought about that 15 years ago! I cannot believe that you invited him, that you let him back into my life! That man is dangerous, he is mentally insane and you let him near me like that! AGAIN!" she cried out.

"Rose I just wanted us to talk about it, he was only a boy back then…"

"I will not hear these excuses! Go away and leave me alone!'' she yelled at her father

"Rose please… can we not talk about this?" Cornwallis begged as he tried to come closer to her.

"GO AWAY, LEAVE ME ALONE" she yelled even louder as she pushed him away, then turned around and walked off into the gardens.

Cornwallis decided it was best to let her cool off. Maybe this wasn't his best decision ever. To invite John over like this and hope they could talk about it. He had little experience with women, let a long a daughter. If only he had a sister to ask for advice… He lacked the knowledge on how to make things right, and that was all he wanted: to make things right. He sighed and walked back into the ballroom. He would tell the guests Rose had gotten ill and needed some fresh air and a clean bed.

* * *

><p>She walked a bit further into the gardens and took place on a small bench. As she stared at the ground she started sobbing quietly. Tears were running down her cheek while she wondered what had possessed her father to do this to her. It only proved he really had no idea what horrific things her stepmother and brother did to her. She closed her eyes and sighed, she was feeling dizzy because her stomach had emptied completely. Suddenly she felt a familiar hand stroking her hair. Colonel Tavington had taken place behind her.<br>For a while they said nothing and she let him stroke her hair. It gave her comfort to know he was there and to feel his gentle touch caressing her. So she leaned back into him.

"Tell me what happened" he quietly told her as he handed her a glass of water.

"Colonel, you were there, you saw the scene with my father…" she replied as she drank the water.

"That is not what I meant" he said as he took a place next to her on the bench.

"Tell me about when you were little, what have they done to you Rose?" he asked.

She sighed. "Okay, but I never told anyone so you will have to excuse me for jabbing away." She paused for a second but when he said nothing she continued. "My father married my stepmother because of obligations and contracts. John is not his real son and therefore not my real brother. He hired a governess to take care of John. The governess was my mother Eliza and they fell in love. You know how things go, 9 months later I was born and my father wanted us to be a real family so he kept us in the household. When I was 6 my mother died, inflammation of the lungs I believe. My father was away from home a lot, working all the time I guess. My stepmother was supposed to take care of me but her sickening jealousy prevented her from showing me any love or consolation. So when I was 6 my torments started and almost 2,5 years later they ended when I was send away to France. To me it felt as if he send me away because I was some sort of burden, a scandal to get rid of. I never saw him standing up for me or being on my side…"

She stopped talking, she did not want to go into details. But Tavington did not give up easily.

"What did your stepmother and brother do to you?" he asked as he removed a string of hair from her face.

"Just the usual abuse, beatings and such…. One day they broke my violin, the violin my mother gave to me when she died… My stepmother said that violin's aren't for girls, only for whores like my mother. She would tell me I was a witch because of my red hair and that I had the devil inside me. That's why they beat me, to get Satan out of me. My mother was burning in hell because of me she said, I believed her back then. I could only play music when my father was around, if they caught me making music at other times they would beat me, or whip me…  
>I wore a servants clothing and did servants chores. I did not mind that so much though. No one was allowed to talk to me because of the devil inside me. So I had no friends and no one but my stepmother or brother would ever speak to me. My father would give me books when he was at home but stepmother took them from me and gave them to John I think. One day he lost a book and blamed me, he said I stole it. My stepmother went completely mental, screaming like a mad woman. She tied me up and gave John a whip, he whipped my back about 20 times before I passed out I think. I remember the blood on the carpet and my stepmother threatening me with a poker. But before she could come to that I already passed out because of the loss of blood I think… A few days later when I had recovered they made me clean all the carpets. My father came home on a surprise visit and that is how he found out how far they had gone. He saw me cleaning the bloodied carpet and found the whip still covered in blood. Then he called for a doctor who examined the wounds on my back. That's the only time I remember my father going absolutely mad with anger. I think he even beat my stepmother up that time because I saw her bruised face later. Anyway, my scars never completely disappeared so they are still on my back looking hideous as ever" She finished her story.<p>

"There is no way on this earth that you could ever be hideous in this life or another" Tavington replied.

He had listened to her story with the greatest fascination and studied her beautiful face as a few tears ran down while she spoke. His stomach turned when the mental image of her abuse came to his mind. His blood was boiling in every vein in his body. His muscles had tightened as she told him about the whipping. What he would give right now to go back inside and kill this monstrous stepbrother of hers. And if Cornwallis' wife had not already passed he would have slowly and painfully tortured her to death.  
>But right now he just needed to be here.<p>

"Rose, you are shivering…, here, take my coat" he said and before she could object he had already put his red coat around her. "It looks nice on you" he winked at her.

"I shall take you inside before you freeze to death" he said

"I don't want to go back to the ball" she quietly said.

"I know. We shall go through the side entrance and I'll bring you to your room where you will be safe" he said as he tried to help her on her feet. But dizziness and headaches overtook her as she fell back onto the bench.

Colonel Tavington put one arm around her waist and his other arm under her legs. In one swift move he lifted her up as if she weighed no more than a feather. She still noticed how he carried her inside the mansion up the stairs towards her room. But when they arrived she had almost fallen asleep in his arms. A servant opened up the doors to her bedroom and closed them behind them. The fireplace was still burning so the room was comfortably warm. He laid her on the bed gently and decided to take of her shoes. When he was done he placed them on the ground and moved back to where her head was lying on the pillow. He removed a few string of hair from her face. She was still wearing his red coat but he did not want to wake her by taking it. _I'll get it in the morning _he thought. Just when he wanted to turn around and leave she slowly wrapped her hand around his wrist.

"Please don't go…" she said in a small voice.

Tavington looked at her with concern "You should eat something, you look pale, I will get you some food" he said as he wanted to get up but she wouldn't let go of his hand.

"I am too tired Colonel, I will fall asleep soon. Will you please stay with me a little longer?" she almost whispered as she looked up at him with a begging expression.

"Okay, I will stay here" he answered as he took place in the chair next to her bed. He took of his boots and made himself as comfortable as possible in the chair. He studied her face as she drifted off into a deep sleep. This would be a scandal in the morning he thought. But that didn't concern him right now. He just wanted to keep her safe.


	12. It's French toast madam

**AN: If any of you have a special request that he or she would like to have added to this story, let me know and I will take care of it ;-)**

The next morning Rose slowly opened up her eyes and awoke not knowing where she was. But when she looked around the room she remembered everything: she was in one of the guest rooms in the Middleton Place mansion. Her head was aching and when she turned to face her left she saw Colonel Tavington sitting there, no waist coat because she still wore that around her shoulders. He was reading a book but looked up at her when she turned her head.

"Good morning, I trust you slept well since it is already 10 'o clock" he said as a smile crept to his face.

"My God… I slept for…" she tried to remember what time she got in bed.

"11 hours madam" Tavington finished her sentence.

She looked at him for a while. There was so much going through her mind. So much she wanted to talk about, needed to talk about.

"Did you stay with me the entire night?" she asked him softly.

"You asked me not to go, so I stayed" he answered her.

She was surprised by his answer. She did not expect him to care so much. At one point she even suspected that he was only seducing her to get her in his bed for a night of fun. Maybe even to bug her father because it was no secret those two did not get along easily. But the more time they spend together the more she started to believe Colonel Tavington cared for her actual wellbeing. She had heard a lot of rumors about him the last few weeks that she stayed at the estate. She wanted to find out by herself if they were true. The people had told her he was harsh, cold, cruel. Brutal even, especially when it came to this war. But so far he had been nothing but kind to her… well… almost at least. So maybe the war had turned Colonel Tavington into something he wasn't naturally born to be she thought.

Then she realized he had stayed in her bedroom the entire night and what others would think about this. She chuckled when she imagined their reactions. Their disapproval.

"Why do you laugh so?" Tavington asked as he looked at her in curiosity.

"We are in big trouble Colonel. You stayed in my room the entire night… Servants will know, they gossip, as does everyone else. I am a ruined woman now!" she laughed as she said it.

"Well" Tavington started "I didn't know if your stepbrother had left yet so it did not seem right to leave you here alone".

She sighed when she thought about the night before. The night which was supposed to be so beautiful. A real Christmas celebration for once.

"Thank you for staying with me. If you tell anyone I said this I will deny it but…I was… well… afraid I think…" she said as she stared at her hands.

"As anyone would in your position" he reassured her. "Now you should eat something" he continued as he picked up the tray of food from the cabinet next to her and placed it in her lap.

"What is it?" she asked as she frowned at the food in front of her.

"Black tea and porridge" he answered.

"Uggh, yuk, I dislike porridge with a passion" Rose said.

"Well in that case it's French toast with red wine" he said as he smirked at her.

Rose started laughing "Do I really have to eat this?" she asked as she pouted her lip.

"Oooh miss De La Porte, you are hurting my feelings. I cooked it myself!" he sarcastically said as he placed his hand on his chest as if she just broke his heart.

She roared with laughter "You are such a liar I bet you do not know how to make an omelet!" she said whilst trying to suppress her laughter.

"You still have to eat it. It's the best thing for when you have an emptied stomach and feel unwell" he answered her more seriously.

She ate the food and thought about the things she wanted to talk to him about.  
>While they were chatting away she learned that last night her father's supply ship went up in the air because of "The Ghost" and his men. Colonel Tavington told her about his search for this so called ghost and the trouble he had caused him with Cornwallis.<br>She asked about his past so he told her more details about his youth. She noticed how it wasn't very different from her own. His father had squandered their inheritance on gambling and booze. He used to beat up their mother and one day she ended up dead on the floor. That's when he decided to join the army so he could take care of his younger brother and sister. He was only a boy of 16 back then. Now, 20 years later he had worked his way up to be the Colonel of the Green Dragoon. He was ambitious, a little too much perhaps. He told her he had been engaged once. Almost 10 years ago to a woman who lived in a small town near London. But he found out she had an affair so he broke it off and put all his life energy in working his way up in the army.

"That's horrible... I never understood why people would do that, to be so deceitful…How can you claim to love one person so fiercely one day and all of a sudden act as if he means nothing to you the next" Rose said with a painful look on her face.

"You wouldn't understand and that's a good thing. You don't have deceit in you… You are loyal" Tavington said as he intensely stared at her.  
>The conversation was getting closer to a topic she was not ready to address.<p>

"Funny you should say that, a few weeks ago you called me a little patriot remember?" a smile lightened her face as she poked fun at him.

"Yes well… to be quite frank, I enjoy people who have a mind of their own. Who do not brainlessly take on other people's opinion and make it their own. And you madam, have made it very clear to me you share not the same political views as I do. Which I shall accept because for me to proof you wrong I would have to reduce myself to matters far from my ethical views" he told her.

"I do not think I follow Colonel…" she said with a confused look on her face.

"You told me I do not have it in me to hang you just for speaking your mind. Remember? Well you see… I have no desire to proof you wrong. I am a proud man Rose, and yet I am willing to acknowledge the borders. And when it comes to me hurting you… that is a border I shall never cross" he stated as he stared into her eyes with an intense desire to kiss her.

She looked down at her hands once more. Starting to get nervous.  
>Now he had brought up the topic she desperately tried to avoid. That night before the Christmas ball.<br>The topic did not make her blush but his words moved her. How he had spoken about not hurting her ever… If she was to believe the rumors then this was a man willing to go to any extent to win this war, to get whatever he wanted, to become what he desired to be and never take no for an answer. And he plainly admit to her that he would make any exception when it came to her.

"Yes… w…well… about that night Colonel…" she stuttered as she looked down at her lap .

A knock on the door interrupted them. The same servant from last night walked in to let them know the party would be going back to the military estate in 1 hour and that Sir John Cornwallis had already left the mansion to sail back to England.

"I'll leave you to get ready" he courteously nodded and left the room.

"Thank you for everything Colonel" she said.

He paused a second and turned around to face her once again.

Then she continued as she walked up to him to hand him his waist coat. "I am very grateful that you did what you did last night. And also that you stayed with me… And of course for the porridge" she chuckled as he finished her sentence.

A naughty smile lit his face as he took his waist coat. "It was French toast madam" he winked at her as he walked to through the door, closed it and left her to dwell on this.

_Who would have thought… He's even funny _she thought.


	13. Jealousy

Rose had dressed herself in a ruby colored dress, decorated with black lace around the satin bodice and along the skirts. She wore a black cape and gloves. _(Like Christine from the phantom of the opera when she walks through the graveyard, only with loads more red fabric in the dress ;-))_  
>One hour later the party left the mansion to go back to the estate.<br>The ride was uncomfortable. She was sitting in the carriage with her father opposite from her and General O'Hara next to her. The general tried to chat with her a bit but she hardly spoke back, only said "yes" or "no" and smiled politely. The ride which was only half an hour seemed to last an eternity.

"Rose darling, will you please join me in my office once you are settled back in" Cornwallis asked his daughter as he helped her out of the carriage.

"I will be there in an hour. I just need to check up on Susan and find her something to do whilst I talk with you" she replied.

* * *

><p>And so it was done. She found Susan together with Charlotte in her room. Servants got half the day off on Christmas so Susan tried to teach Charlotte some of her ballet tricks. It was a funny sight.<br>She decided to tell Susan the ball was amazing, no need to bother a little girl with grown up problems. Susan wanted to know everything about what people were wearing and how they danced. Rose explained how magical everything looked and that when Susan would turn 14 she could join a real ball also.

"Susan sweety, I just need to go and talk with my father for a little while and Charlotte has the rest of the day off because of Christmas. So tell me, what would you like to do in the mean time?" Rose asked her.

"I will go outside and watch the horses then!" Susan answered all excitedly.

"That's a good idea, be sure to stay around the stables and do not wander off okay? When I am done I will come and find you. We can make a snowman together how would you like that?"

"Yes I want to make a real snowman!" the little girl answered enthusiastically as she clapped her little hands together.

"Then I shall see you in a little while, outside by the stables, and you promised me not to wander of on your own" Rose stated as she walked out of the room to pay her father a visit in his office.

* * *

><p>As she entered his office she saw Cornwallis sitting down behind the desk. His face showed remorse. Desperation even. He had absolutely no clue how to handle this.<p>

"Rose darling, please sit down" he started the conversation.

They remained silent for a while, not looking at each other. Her face was blank, it showed no sign of emotion even though she was roaring inside.

"Would you like to begin?" he asked his daughter.

"Maybe it would be a good beginning to start this conversation with some explanations. Like… why you invited John. Was it to torment me? To test me? Or maybe your idea of a joke?" she asked whilst keeping her facial expression neutral.

"No no, my god no…" he sighed and rubbed his temples and then looked back up at her. "I do not know what the right thing is to say" Corwallis replied softly.

"How about the truth" she interrupted him angrily.

He paused for a while to rest his head in his hand. Then he looked up and continued.

"You were right when you said I had no idea of the torment they put you through. I was absent most of the time when I should have been there for you. I was overjoyed about you staying here the last couple of weeks. We were getting to know each other and getting on so well, becoming a real family. For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to invite John over, hoping you two could work things out. It was foolish of me and I did not think it through... He was not just a boy back then. He was 15 and you were the only innocent child in the matter. I should have been there… but I was not. What I did last night is unforgivable. And yet I hope you are willing to forgive an old fool… for it was not done to harm you in any way my dearest. I merely wanted to build bridges between our family members".

"I understand your motives father. Though… when I speak of family I only speak of you, Antoine and Marie and Susan. John will never be included in my definition of family. It will never happen so I beg you to let the idea pass" she stated determinedly.

"It will never happen again my dear. And if it is any consolation to you, I hardly ever speak to John myself. He is a bit… well… how do I put this…" Cornwallis hesitated. "He has this strange thing about him… as if he is not…" Cornwallis couldn't find the words.

"Right in the head?" she finished his sentence.

He chuckled. "I always try and be subtle about everything but I think you are right on this topic... You know… your mother always was straight forward just like you. Always told me what she had on her mind, you are so much like your mother" he said as he smiled at her.

The room turned silent and Cornwallis stared out of the window more seriously.

"There is one more thing dear… Last night… there was a rumor… And I know it not to be true but I must ask you…"

"It is true" she interrupted him. Cornwallis stared at his daughter in shock.

"Colonel Tavington spend the night in your BEDroom!" Cornwallis asked with both shock and anger.

"Yes he did. I asked him to stay so I could sleep. I did not feel safe with John inside the mansion. And I do feel safe around him…"

"Rose, do you not understand what this will do to your reputation! You are well-known throughout London and Paris! People will talk!" he raised his voice at her in desperation.

"Since I do not intent to ever get married that does not concern me. Nor should it concern you… Also, rumors make damn good publicity when you are an artist. So if there are any rumors, I should be thankful to the airheads who have little work to do so they gossip all day" she calmly replied.

"Colonel Tavington is a dangerous man! His family name holds no esteem and his war tactics are brutal. Therefor chances are that he is just as cold hearted as people make him out to be! I don't want my daughter around a man like that!" Cornwallis stated determinedly as he tried to talk some sense into his daughter.

"He has shown nothing but kindness to me. Therefor I shall judge him by my own standards which differ from yours I'm sure" she said as she made her way to the door.

"Of course he has been nothing but kind to you! You are a beautiful woman and the daughter of his superior. It will be his ultimate challenge to get you in his bed" he raised his voice a bit more.

"Not everything is about you father" she replied as she reached for the doorknob.

"I COULD HAVE HIM FIRED!" he yelled at her.

She paused for a second and let go of the door. Then she turned around to glare at her father.

"I am his superior! I can take everything from him. I could break him! And I will if he tries anything with you." Cornwallis threatened.

"If you were to ever… EVER… sink so low as to destroy his career because of your personal matters, you shall never see me again" and with that she walked out the door.

Cornwallis let out a heavy sigh and wondered if Rose may have fallen for Tavington's charms. Well at least she was determined she would never marry because of her career so that gave him some consolation.  
>He ordered O'Hara in. They were up for the next meeting. The commander of the militia had arrived to talk about prisoner exchange.<p>

* * *

><p>Rose put on her cape, scarf and gloves and walked outside to look for Susan. She found the little girl inside the stables feeding the horses and speaking with them.<p>

"Hello there little princess, are you ready to make a real snowman or do you want to play with the horses?"

"Snowman!" Susan cried out.

"Have you got your gloves on? Because else your little hands will freeze sweetheart"

"No I forgot… I don't know where I left them…" Susan replied as she tried to think where she last saw her gloves.

"I will go inside and search the estate for some gloves and a warm scarf and then we can start building the biggest snow man ever!" Rose told her.

Just when she had walked out of the stables she saw a middle aged man coming from the estate towards the gates. He must be a colonial she thought, because he was wearing a blue coat and his hair was tied back into a lose ponytail. Colonel Tavington entered through the gates at the same time. The two men stared at each other intensely for a while. The Colonel dismounted his horse and then she heard O'Hara call out "Release the prisoners!". Colonel Tavington was there within two seconds. She saw the men quarreling and then the Colonel drew his sword but O'Hara commanded him to seize his sword. He turned back to the face the General and after some more angry words Colonel Tavington still walked up to the colonial man. Rose couldn't quite make out what they said but the colonial hardly showed any emotion so whatever Colonel Tavington tried, must have failed. She wasn't quite sure what she had just witnessed.  
>As the colonials rode off on their horses she decided to go inside and find Susan some gloves from her bedroom. She found them on the floor next to a chair where Susan probably lost them.<p>

Just when she closed her bedroom door behind her she noticed Colonel Tavington standing there.

"Well, good afternoon Colonel. How come I find you here… standing in front of my bedroom door… again?" she joked at him.

"I was about to let of some steam and I chose you as my victim" he answered her most seriously.

"I see… You are frustrated? No doubt that has something to do with the colonial gentleman I just saw leaving the estate with a lot of your prisoners?" she asked him as the smirk on her face widened.

He narrowed his eyes and lowered his voice dangerously.

"Apparently he is the Ghost I have been looking for the last couple of weeks. And my superiors have decided to let him go" he answered with a most displeasing look on his face.

"Ah yes… Very good looking man that was, are you sure he is a ghost? Seems pretty real to me" she said as she smirked at him.

Jealousy struck him as he grabbed her upper arms and shoved her against the door. Her body was pinned against the door by his body. Then he brought his face right next to hers

"You should not mock me at this very moment" he dangerously whispered in her ear. She felt his warm breath against her neck.

"Or maybe you shou…" she tried to say.

But he had already interrupted her by pressing his lips on hers. He kissed her forcefully, angry because of what she said about the colonial leader. He had never felt this kind of jealousy and he didn't like it one bit.  
>She felt his tongue slip between her lips and she opened them to leave him passage. Her limbs were trembling.<br>She stopped struggling against his strong grip on her arms and his kiss became more gentle. His hand slid to the nape of her neck and he pressed his face to hers. The kiss was just as intense as the night before Christmas. His tongue moved through her mouth as his body was moving against hers. She was willingly moving with him.  
>Then he slowly moved a few inches away from her and they stared into each other's eyes.<p>

"There, I don't feel so angry anymore" he said as he turned around and walked away leaving her somewhat flabbergasted.


	14. Overcoming pride

Rose made her way outside, still a little confused about what just happened. She did not mind that the Colonel had kissed her…. Again. On the contrary. But there was some kind of angry passion in his kiss, had he actually been jealous just because she said the colonial gentleman was good looking? She had to admit that she enjoyed his jealousy. It made her think he wanted her just as bad as she wanted him. Though the entire situation was confusing and she wasn't being honest with him nor herself. She wanted him, she was in love with in… no point in denying that but she also did not plan on marrying anyone… ever…  
>And yet she wouldn't resist him because she was undoubtedly in love and her heart jumped at the sight of him. She felt desired…, loved…, wanted…, needed even.<br>But was it fair? If she had no plans on marrying him, was she not just leading him on? Her heart was true and her feelings sincere. But her mind was not going to give in.

She pushed the feelings off her as she made her way outside where she found Susan near the stables. They walked around to the other side of the estate where they could build a snowman in the garden. Rose made a giant snowball which would be the snowman's body. Susan made a slightly smaller snowball but still huge. It would be the snowman's head. When they were done Rose had to lift the head on the body but the snowball was way too big to handle.

"Susan sweetie, why don't you go inside to find some material to decorate the snowman, so we can give him a face and dress him up warmly with a scarf and hat" Rose asked the little girl.

"Okay I will be back soon!" Susan cried out as she ran into the estate.

Rose tried to lift the head on top of the body again but the giant snowball wouldn't come off the ground. They had made it way too big and Rose simply didn't have the strength. Suddenly she heard footsteps behind her while she was still trying to lift the snowball off the ground.

"If you ask real nicely I will help you" a familiar voice said.

She stood up and turned around to face Colonel Tavington.

"Have you nothing better to do all day but to pester me because you are frustrated over your prisoners?" Rose said in an annoyed voice, still a little agitated because of how he had left her in the hallway a few minutes ago.

"Tssk Tssk, You know I have proven to be good at saving damsels in distress" he smirked at her.

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Colonel, I am not in distress, I am just trying to build a snowman with Susan and I can't lift this giant snowball she made. So maybe if you could just…you know… just…" she said as she moved her arms around to show him what she wanted him to do.

"Just what?" he asked as if he didn't know what she wanted him to do.

"My God, you are insufferable you know that! If you could just lift the goddamn snow ball on the other snowball then that would be amazing!" she said in an irritated and sarcastic voice.

He came standing a bit closer till he was only inches away from her face and said "Now be nice and… Say … Please…"

She glared at him with an angry and irritated look showing on her face. But he just grinned at her, enjoying every moment of this power battle. _Two can play this game_she thought. So she moved even closer, their lips merely one inch away from one another and their eyes locked on each other. Neither of them would give in by looking away.

"Please…" she slowly let out in a soft voice.

He smiled at her as his arm slid around her waist. "Now… there's a good girl" he slowly said as he pulled her closer till her lips were touching his again. He gave her a small and tender kiss before he let go of her. Then he turned around and in one swift move he lifted up the snowball and placed it on top of the bigger one.

"That wasn't too heavy, you're just a little lightweight" he mocked her.

Just when he turned around to face her, so he could continue making fun of her, he was interrupted by a pack of snow thrown in his face. Rose was roaring with laughter.

"That will teach you to bully me!" she cried out as she ran away from the Colonel.

"You will pay for that" he said as he wiped the snow of his face.

Further into the gardens she found a big tree to hide behind. She gathered some more snow off the ground so she could defend herself when he would come after her. She listened carefully if she could hear his footsteps in the snow. The excitement made her breathe heavily. She didn't hear anything which made her even more nervous. Or maybe he had just gone inside...

"Are you still there?" she called out as she stayed hidden behind the tree.

She heard nothing. After waiting a couple more seconds she decided to leave her hiding place. She slowly turned her face around the left side of the tree. That was foolish. Almost immediately a hand full of snow came towards her face and ended up on top of her head. It was freezing cold.

"AAAH!" she cried out as she tried to throw more snow at the Colonel but missed.

She was not going to win this battle so the best option was the run away and hide inside. She turned around and tried to run and make her way into the estate but he had caught up with her within 3 seconds.  
>He grabbed her arm and tackled her to the ground. He took place on top of her, one leg on each side of her waist so she couldn't move. He took another hand of snow and rubbed it on her chest. It was freezing cold and she cried out in laughter trying to push him off her. But he took both her wrists and pinned them to the ground as he bent down to kiss her again. The kiss was tender and she willingly gave into him again. Feeling the sensation of his warm lips on hers again made her moan softly. When he broke off the kiss he let go of her wrists.<p>

"I might become sick because you rubbed snow on me and its dripping into my dress now" she said as she tried to remove the snow from her cleavage.

"Then I shall be a gentleman and help you with that" he said as he started to wipe the snow of her chest.

Then with a naughty smile he stuck two fingers inside her cleavage to remove more snow, only to have a good excuse to feel her soft breasts. He took his time as her chest started moving up and down with more intensity. She was staring into his eyes with increasing passion. He needed to get off her before he would lose self-control. And before she would feel that he was turned on.

He slowly got of her and took place next to her, lying in the snow. His hand was caressing her cheek as he smiled at her. He brought his face close to her ear and kissed her earlobe.

"Marry me" he whispered in her ear. 

* * *

><p>Two men standing in front of the large office window had witnessed the entire scene of Rose and Tavington having a snow fight and making out.<p>

"You see General O'Hara, this is exactly what I wanted to prevent. My daughter with THAT MAN" Cornwallis said as he stared out of his window with a displeased look on his face.

"I assume his Lordship has a plan?" O'Hara asked him.

"Yes I do." Cornwallis stated in a determined voice.

"And might I inform as to what his Lordship will do about this… unwanted situation?"

Cornwallis sniffed arrogantly and turned away from the window to face O'Hara.

"I'm splitting them up".


	15. The space between

**AN: This chapter is inspired by Dave Matthews Band. I love their music. Listen to "The space between" and "Grace is gone" ;-)**

**P.S. thank you Cynthia for the kind review, I promise to finish this story ;-) It will have an ending!**  
><strong>And if you have any ideas which you would like me to work out, let me know<strong>

* * *

><p>She stared at him in amazement. Did he just ask her to marry him?<p>

So he was not just playing with her feelings… flirting with her and turning her head only to leave and  
>find the next woman who would be foolish enough to fall for his charms.<br>But then again, she knew that he had not been playing with her heart. He had shown he cared sincerely and she was not some dumb naive school girl.

Her breathe faltered.

Colonel Tavington got up and held out his hand to help her off the ground. His face was blank, waiting for her answer.

She slowly took his hand, got up and brushed off her skirts, still startled by what he had just said.

Her legs were feeling weak as she looked up at the Colonel who was still staring back at her.

She just looked at him for a while, staring into his piercing eyes looking for some kind of answer.

And then…

"I cannot" she softly said.

The Colonel was surprised by her answer. She had shown no resistance towards his… well… 'unconventional' way of courting her. She had shown she longed for him as he did for he. So… Why would she refuse him? He did not plan on giving up so easily though.

"Why not?" he asked as he moved closer to her.

She stared at the ground, trying to think of some kind of answer. The truth would be good she thought. That's the least she could give him. Honesty. She owed it to him.

"If I were to marry you I would give you complete power and control over me. You're a man and I am a woman… and I would be, according to the law, your subject. I would have to stop working… Therefor I would have to give up almost everything I live for. Opera, composing, ballet, teaching… everything…"

He interrupted her "Rose… I would never make you do that, there is no need to change your current life if you have no desire to… I would never cage you like a bird. Why on earth would I want to tame such a rare creature?" he said as he wrapped one arm around her and used his other one to stroke her hair.

She put her hands on his chest to try and push him away but her resistance made him hold on to her even stronger.

"You say that now… Right now you might not care for your reputation or mine, but it might change when you hear the awful things people will say about us… about you… They will frown upon a high ranking officer married to a woman of inferior birth with a profession. No matter how educated she is" Rose tried to explain.

He smiled at her as he reached for her hand. "Rose I do not care about that nor will I ever. When I asked you to marry me, I knew you would never give up your life. And I do not wish for you to do so. I want you the way you are now, free spirited, open-minded and a brilliant artist! And you must share this with the world, it is who you are!"

He paused for a second but when she said nothing he continued as he stroke her head.

"You know we belong together. We have the same temper, both stubborn, we're both outcasts and we care not what people think of us. We also have some common enemies which we enjoy mocking… We are drawn to one another for a reason… If you were to marry me, promise to be mine, I would never deceive you or treat you poorly. I will honor and respect you and help you undress every night or any other daily moment" he chuckled as he finished his pledge".

"Are you in love with me?" he asked her more seriously.

She tried to look at the ground again but he lifted up her chin and forced her to look at him. Her eyes were watery.

"Well?" he asked again.

"Yes" she quietly let out.

"Then you should be mine" he said as he smiled at her.

She looked him straight into his eyes. "But I shall not"  
>Her eyes became watery again. She was on the edge of crying but told herself to stay strong and not give in. Even though she wanted it with all her heart, body and soul.<p>

Slowly Colonel Tavington started to believe in her indifference. Maybe this was all a game to her, perhaps she enjoyed playing around with his feelings. What if this was all an act and she was like most of the people from theatres and opera houses. They had a reputation and perhaps she had one too… His eyes narrowed at her as he slowly let go of her and took a step back.

"I see" he said in a cold voice as he regained composure.

"I'm so sorry William, I did not mean to… I am in love with you but… well… I just…" she tried to explain

"There is no need for further explanations madam. You have made your answer quite clear" he stated harshly and turned around to walk away.

"William please…" she cried out, but he ignored her and walked back into the estate.

She sighed as she took a seat on the ground and leaned back into a tree. A few tears were falling down her cheeks but she quickly wiped them off. She did not want to linger on this for too long. She had rejected men before!… Only this time she had actual feelings for a man, and not just feelings... she had just broken her own heart. She wondered if this was the right decision. It was a safe decision yes… this way she could not be hurt or held back in her life choices. But is the safest decision the right decision?  
>Her thoughts were interrupted when Susan suddenly stood next to her.<p>

"Why you crying Rosey?" the little girl asked her as she petted her on the head.

"Oh sweety I am not crying. I just got some snow in my eyes" she explained whilst she got up and smiled at Susan.

"I got a carrot and some buttons to give our snowman a face. And a warm scarf and hat" Susan said.

"That's wonderful, you did really good! Let's dress up our snowman then" Rose tried to act enthusiastically.

"You can't. Your father told me to tell you he needed you" Susan told her.

"Mmm okay, Well let's finish this first and then we will go inside and warm up".

* * *

><p>Rose slowly strolled towards her father's office, still upset about the change of events with the Colonel. Why had she been so foolish, if she didn't plan on marrying him why had she not offered more resistance! She thought it over some more and decided there was only one explanation possible: because she was madly and utterly in love with him.<br>She felt like there was a heavy brick in her stomach which didn't plan on perishing any time soon. Oh well, he would forget about her soon enough. _Isn't that what men do? Find another victim and move on…_she thought as she entered her father's office.

"Rosemary darling, please sit down... I have some devastating news…" Cornwallis said as he looked at her with concern in his eyes.

"What's wrong father?" Rose asked, already forgotten the way they had quarreled a few hours before. Her father seemed genuinely worried.

"I received a letter from your home. From Mary. Antoine is very sick Rose… The doctors are not sure if he will make it" he said

Rose reached for her mouth as her eyes widened in shock and fear.

"I must go to them at once…" she softly let out.

"That would be the right thing to do dear. I regret we have had so little time together but the last couple of weeks have been a time of pure joy for me. Even though we had our differences and I made some foolish mistakes I hope we shall see each other again soon. You see this… this war… it seems to be a lost cause and if my hypotheses is correct then I shall be back in London within a month from now. Maybe I shall meet you there some time?"

When she said nothing he continued.

"I have arranged a carriage for you early tomorrow morning. You will be in Paris within 2 weeks".


	16. If never again I fall upon

**AN: Sorry for the late update. I am in the middle of my last exams :-(  
>And I wanted this chapter to be perfect!<strong>

**Chapter Title: If never again I fall upon the one I so adore  
><strong>  
>That night around dinner time Cornwallis had ordered Colonel Tavington to meet him in his office. It turned out that the Ghost had never captured 18 of their officers. Instead they had dressed up scarecrows with British uniforms and pretended they were officers. This way the Ghost had managed to arrange a prisoner exchange. Only it was no exchange but he did get 18 of his men back. And Cornwallis was, so to speak, not amused…<p>

"My reputation suffers, because of your incompetence! That man… Insults me!" Cornwallis raised his voice in anger and frustration.

"Quite impressive for a farmer with a pitchfork. Wouldn't you say?" Tavington calmly replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Cornwallis sighed and ordered him to stand closer.

"I want you to find that man. I want you to capture him." Cornwallis said in a dangerously low voice.

The Colonel was not impressed. Something made him believe that he was in control this time.

"The man has the loyalty of the people. They protect him. They protect his family. They protect the families of his men." Tavington said as he walked over to the table where some maps were laid out.

He turned around to face Cornwallis again. "I can capture him for you. But to do so requires the use of tactics that are somewhat… What was the word your Lordship used?... Brutal… I think." Tavington replied smoothly as he cocked his eyebrow.

Cornwallis looked over his shoulder to let the servant know he should leave. He did not want any witnesses in the room to see how he would defy not only the rules of war but also his own integrity.

When the servant had left, he ordered Tavington to go on.

The Colonel walked over to the cabinet and poured himself a glass of Cornwallis' finest red wine. He was dealing the cards this time. And he was mindset on enjoying every moment of it.

"I am prepared to do what is necessary. I alone will assume the full mantle of responsibility of my actions… free of the chain of command… rendering you blameless." Tavington said as he put the wine back on the cabinet.

"However…" he continued "If I do this… you and I both know that I can never return the England with honor. What, I wonder, is to become of me?" he said whilst pretending to almost pout his lower lip.

Cornwallis turned around to face him with a slight smirk on his face. _This man was good…very good.._he thought.

He got up and walked over to the table where he had laid out the maps of the American colonies. "When this war is over here in the colonies, the new aristocracy will be landowners". Cornwallis replied meaningfully. He had now offered Tavington a piece of land to start a new life. Even further away from Paris than London and therefor far enough from his daughter even if she would return to London at some point.

Tavington walked over to the maps and looked down at them. _She rejected me… Might as well start a new live and forget about_ _her _he thought.

"Tell me about… Ohio" he answered.

* * *

><p>After the conversation with his Lord General, Tavington immediately mounted his horse and rode towards the camp. He barged into the tent where his Dragoons resided and ordered Captain Wilkins to tell him where the children of Benjamin Martin, his Ghost, would be hiding. Wilkins reluctantly told his commander that his Benjamin Martin's sister in law had a plantation.<p>

Tavington immediately ordered his Dragoons to get ready, they would leave at once to search for the Ghost his family. He was planning on taking them hostage, this way his Ghost would simply come to him. But when they arrived no family member could be found inside the house. Some house slaves were there but they wouldn't tell where the family had gone. Frustrated that this was a dead end he shot the slaves and burned the house.

Suddenly he saw a group of horsemen appear in the distance. They fired a couple of shots in the air and lit some fireworks. Tavington was sure this was Benjamin Martin's group so they mounted their horse and went after them. After a couple of miles they lost track of the group in the swamp and even though he did not want to give up, he realized this would lead to nothing. After a disappointing day and night he returned to the estate to get some sleep because it was already almost midnight.  
>But when he turned in, he couldn't get to sleep. He kept tossing and turning and after an hour he got up, poured himself a drink and sat in the chair by the fireplace. Staring into the fire he thought about Rose…<p>

* * *

><p>Rose was lying awake in her bed also. Staring at the ceiling and thinking about the next day. She would leave for France and hoped she would be in time for Antoine. And even though her mind should only be occupied with her family back in Paris right now, she could not get the Colonel out of her head. He proposed to her, she wanted to be with him and yet she was doubtful about what decision to make. But now the decision had been made for her. She had to go back to Paris because her family needed her there. She would stay with Antoine until he was better or… she did not want to think about the other scenario. He had been like a father to her for 15 years. She wasn't even sure if she would ever return to England or the colonies so she would probably never see Colonel Tavington again… <em>never again<em> she thought. _I will most likely never see him again.  
><em>She heard the clock in the main hall strike 1 hour after midnight_. _Her eyes filled with tears. How she wished he was here right now. How she wished he would hold her and tell her it would be okay.

She stared into the fire. A glassy look in her eyes.

Something came to her mind and she knew what to do. It was absolutely mad… and maybe he was still angry with her, maybe he would reject her… but she was not just going to leave…  
>She might regret this in the morning but if she would never see him again then why not? If she wouldn't give into her feelings and follow her heart right now, she would regret this for the rest of her life…<br>So she got out of bed, untied her hair, took of her chamber coat and in her bare nightgown she walked across the hallway to his bedroom.

She could feel her heart beat in her throat as she quietly opened his door and turned around to close it again. When she turned to look around the room she saw him sitting in a chair next to the fireplace. His hair hung loosely around his shoulder and he was only wearing breeches, no shirt. He stared at her in amazement and could not believe that she came to his bedchamber.

For a couple of seconds they stared into each other's eyes, neither of them moved an inch. Rose was still in front of the door and Tavington's heart was thumping in his chest whilst he looked at her from his chair. As soon as he understood the purpose of her visit he got up and was there in a second. He stood right in front of her and they were breathing heavily as they stared into each other's eyes with the fiercest intensity.

A tear spilled from her left eye, she let it fall. He reached to wipe the tear from her cheek. She stared into his eyes, longing for him desperately. As if he could read her mind he pulled her close to him and kissed her with increasing passion. The kiss became more intense now she was clasped against his firm, naked, chest. Suddenly he reached for her shoulders en pulled down her nightgown, revealing her bare chest. His hands were everywhere on her body as they slowly moved towards the bed. His lips were kissing every inch of her body as he slowly took off the rest of her nightgown and admired her naked body. He took of his breeches as Rose instinctively moved herself back on the bed. He leaned over her and kissed her again. Her hands were all over his body, feeling every square inch of his skin on hers.

As he was lying on top of her she could feel how hard he was. He moved one hand on the inside of her legs, her thighs opening up for him. They wouldn't stop kissing each other, their hands were everywhere. Rose could feel the wetness between her thighs. But suddenly she felt a sting of fear.

"William… I've never…" she whispered as she looked up to him with anxiety showing in her eyes.

"Hush, I know" he said as he reassured her with his kisses again.

She felt safe with him. He quivered under the eagerness of her hands. He caressed her right leg. His face moved a few inches away from her. Her big eyes stared at him calmly, feeling completely save. He was moved by the look of total abandon. He had known many women but everything was different with Rose.  
>She could feel him being hard against the wetness of her inner thighs. And then… he slowly entered her. A gasp of pain struck through her body. But then the pain disappeared as her body relaxed beneath his. His tenderness moved her. Slowly he started moving inside her. She closed her eyes and moaned. He was breathing heavily and kissed her again.<p>

Before she knew it she had said it: "William… I love you".

His eyes widened in shock. When he realized the meaning of her words he kissed her more passionately than ever. Their bodies were moving faster as they completely consumed each other.  
>Rose had no idea how long they had been making love for but suddenly her body was torn by an explosion of utter satisfaction and she gasped for air as he tried to silence her moans with kisses. Almost at the same time she could feel him climaxing inside her. He wrapped both his arms around her and groaned loudly.<p>

They laid still for a while. He was still on top of her and she wished this moment would never end as she wrapped her arms around him even tighter.

He kissed her again, she opened up her mouth and their tongues were slowly twirling around each other's. He moved to lay next to her and pulled her close to him. Wrapped inside his arms she felt as if the rest of the world did not exist, only them. Neither of them spoke a word and a couple of minutes later they were asleep in each other's arms.

And later that night they had started again…

* * *

><p>7 o'clock in the morning Tavington awoke from a deep sleep. In an instant the memories of last night came to his mind. Rose had come to his bedchamber and they made love. She was so different from other women. And she had told him she loved him. As he loved her…<p>

But when he turned around he noticed his bed was empty. She had gone…


	17. Of tales and travels

For 3 weeks they had been on the ship that her father arranged for them to board. Due to the cold weather it took them longer than usual to reach the harbor of Bretagne in France. From there on they would travel by carriage and by the beginning of February they finally reached her hometown Paris.

Rose was used to traveling a lot en never minded it. She had been in London, Venice, Rome and even visited Spain. But when she had been in the American colonies with the Colonel she felt a little like being at home. And for the first time in her life she didn't enjoy traveling, not even now that she was going back to her hometown.

Her adoptive parents lived in a small cottage in the country on the outskirts of Paris. They arrived late at night. As she entered the house her limbs were trembling of nervousness. Not sure what she would find, if he would still live or maybe just barely hanging on. When she entered the house she found them in the living room by the fire, Marie was reading a book and Antoine was asleep in his rocking chair by the fire. They looked up in surprise when Rose and Susan entered.

Marie got up to welcome Rose as soon as she saw her. "Rose darling, I am so glad to see you, we have been expecting you. We thought you would be here sooner though, come warm yourselves by the fire". Marie said.

"The weather slowed our journey down… How is he?" Rose asked in concern whilst looking at Antoine. She was surprised to find him here and not in his bed resting.

"Antoine is feeling… alright, come sit down, we must tell you something" Marie tried to explain.

"I do not understand… He is feeling well?" Rose asked as she raised her eyebrows in disbelieve and looked at Antoine.

"Welcome home child" Antoine answered as he rose from his chair. "And yes I am feeling well. Why don't you sit down and we will explain everything."

Rose sat down in confusion. So he was not ill? Had he even been in any kind of danger? Or was he alive and healthy all that time?… All those weeks that she had been worrying sick about him. She felt relieved and confused at the same time.

"Marie, why don't you explain… you are better at this." Antoine pleaded with his wife.

Marie called for the housemaid to take care of Susan. She told her to prepare her a bath whilst they would talk to Rose.

"Well dearest, a few weeks ago we received a very disturbing letter from your father. He told us about your arrival and that you were getting along very well. This pleased us greatly. He also told us about the company you kept. He wrote that you were seeing a certain gentleman. A Colonel in his regiment who is known as "the Butcher" in the American Colonies. He explained the war tactics of this person and that he was extremely worried for the wellbeing of his daughter."

Marie paused for a second, not sure how to continue the explanation.

"The letter… indicated that he would tell you Antoine was very sick and that you needed to depart for Paris as soon as possible. By the time we received this letter you had already left the colonies… You're father made Antoine's illness up because he is so worried about you. There was nothing we could do… you were already on your way when we received the letter."

Rose was hardly surprised by this. As soon as she entered the house and saw Antoine sitting in the chair by the fire she felt something wasn't right. And her instincts were correct, her father had deceived her.

"That bastard!" Rose yelled furiously.

"Watch your language young lady" Antoine told her. "He is still your father and this was done in an act of concern, you must show some understanding for his motives. We may not agree or fully understand why he chose to act this way but I am sure he has your best interest at heart. Why don't you explain to us your side of the story so we will understand better what has happened over there between all of you" he told her.

Rose explained everything. How she broke into the estate for the silver locket and how she met the Colonel who caught her, that he helped her out at the dinner table and how nice he had been to Susan. She also told them about the annoying General O'Hara and how Colonel Tavington made her feel safe and welcome. She left the part out where they had fought about the war and got a little too intimate with each other one night. She explained how her father had invited John over to join them at the ball and how Colonel Tavington had protected her and taken care of her when she most needed it. And then she told them about the day they made a snowman together and that he asked her to marry him… and that she had turned him down because she was scared to trust someone with her heart. But now she wasn't so sure about her decision anymore. She did not want to travel the world anymore. She wanted to settle down with one of the few people she learned was trustworthy.

"Well… I must say, your side of the story changes the perspectives. Your father wrote to us about the character of this Colonel. We are more skeptical than to just take his word for it of course. Hearing your side makes me believe that... there is more to this Colonel than a butcher. And it also makes me think you have some very strong and sincere feelings for this gentleman. Feelings no man has ever been able to make you experience" Antoine said as he grinned at Rose.

"I do not understand how my father could have done this to me… I am a grown woman, I can make my own choices and he has ruined everything!" she cried out.

"Maybe when you have a daughter of your own you will understand." Marie tried to calm her down.

"I DO have a daughter of my own, and I would never do this to Susan". Rose defended herself.

"Are you sure you would just let Susan marry whomever she wishes to? Even if you were convinced that this person was absolutely wrong for her?" Antoine asked as he raised his eyebrow at his daughter in disbelief.

Rose did not immediately reply. He was right… she would not just let Susan wander off with the first man she learned to love.

"Well…I did not say I planned on marrying him… I have already rejected him and now I am here so the decision has been made for me…" she replied as she stared at the ground trying to fight her tears.

Marie got up and walked over to the table to pick up a letter. "I would not be too sure of that my darling. A letter arrived for you a couple of days ago. It is from the Royal Opera House of London".

She handed the letter to Rose. "Why don't you read it".

The letter was signed by the choirmaster and patron of the Royal Opera House in London. They invited Rose to perform the opera Stabat Mater dolorosa and give lessons to their chorus. Their own leading opera singer had passed away because of typhus and they needed a replacement before spring. Preferably someone who was acquainted with the opera and since Rose had performed this very same version 3 years ago in Rome, they were willing to pay her a large sum if she could arrive in London as soon as possible.

Rose looked up at her parents in confusion. She wondered… if she was to go to London and accept the job she might see the Colonel again. _No that's just ridiculous!,_she thought as she waved the thoughts away. He was still at war in the colonies and even if he would be back in London this season… she lead him on, rejected him, slept with him and left without saying goodbye… she had a lot to apologize for. She would literally have to grovel for him to accept her apology if she was to ever see him again.

"I shall accept this. I will write to them and leave tomorrow" Rose stated determinedly.

Groveling it is…


	18. Of sisterly love

_London, end of February_

"So tell me again why you cannot stay William?"

He sighed. His sister was so strong headed. Reminded him of another young lady he had come to know and care about. Only in a different way and much more passionately.

"Because, my dear sister, I have only come to finish some business and I plan to leave as soon as possible. After what I have done in the colonies I cannot stay here. Not only has my reputation been ruined, it will do yours no good either".

"I do not need your help with the ruination my reputation, I have done a fine job myself" she giggled.

"You have indeed done a fine job, I am proud of you". He replied with a mocking smile.

The young woman chuckled at his response. Her brother had come back from fighting the war in the colonies. The war itself had not ended yet but the battle of Cowpens in January had been a great turning point for the British. It did not look good for them. William had been dishonored from the army because of his even more brutal ways of going after "the Ghost". After he burned a church in Pembroke, with its citizens inside, he still failed to deliver the Ghost to Cornwallis. Cornwallis had made it clear he would not tolerate another premature charge born out of his eagerness for glory. And still he had disobeyed and charged the field in Cowpens when he saw need for it. After the great defeat at Cowpens Cornwallis finally saw enough reason to fire Tavington from the army and ship him back to London. But at least one person was happy to see her brother alive and safe at home.

In the meantime his sister has had her own little adventures under the watching eye of London society. She was 27 years old and had been married for 7 years now. The marriage had become a drag but she cared little for it until her husband cheated on her. He tried to deny it several times but she was no fool. She had a keen eye for small details and the smell of vodka mixed with cheap perfume were more than small details. And of course the lipstick on his collar helped her Sherlock instincts. So she made a scene and her husband admit to his betrayal. She wanted a divorce but he denied her this. To be fair: his affair was an opportunity for her. She had met her childhood lover a few weeks ago and the only thing keeping them apart was her marriage. And now this was no problem anymore: he cheated on her, so she did the same. She shamelessly explained to her husband what she had done. Then she basically announced the affair in public and this way she got exactly what she wanted: her husband divorced her. It was a scandal. But people would forget, they always did.

During this time she had missed her brother greatly so she tried to convince him to stay longer. But he would not be convinced.

"Dearest, the things I have done… I am not welcome in London" he told his sister.

"You made a deal with your Lord General! He literally gave you the command to do whatever it takes to find this ghost. He was afraid to get his hands dirty so he used you. It is HIS reputation which should be ruined and not yours!" she cried out in a last attempt to make him stay.

He walked up to her and took her hand. "As always you are right, but that is not the way the world works. Unfortunately. And you know all about that" he winked at her.

"I will be lonely without my big brother to keep me company, hardly anybody wishes to talk to me here" she tried to pout her lips but she was smirking too much to make it look sincere.

"Do not pretend you care for them, you are just like me dear, you care not about society so this little manipulative scheme of yours won't help" he smirked as he hugged her lightly.

She sighed and took a seat in the chair. "Well… I have one more request… or trick if you like to call it that, up my sleeve"

"Mmm what is it?" he raised his eyebrow at his little sister. He couldn't have wished for a sister who was more… thorough...

"The woman you told me about, the opera singer?"

"Yes, Cornwallis' daughter" he replied as he frowned at his sister.

"I have heard some rumors that she is the one opening the season with Stabat Mater Dolorosa in the Royal Opera House, here in London."

His heart skipped a beat. Could this be true? Was she in London just a few miles away from him, maybe even right now? He had not seen her for 2 months. And these had been 2 miserable months for he believed he would never see her again.

His sister continued "I think you and I should go. I have heard a lot about her but never seen her… I would just love to go William. And maybe we could find a way to reunite you two!"

"Wait one second young lady, who says I wish for a reunion with that woman? I've asked her to marry me… she said no, so that is the end of it". He replied harsly.

"My God William! You are so… so… Blind!" his sister raised her voice at him.

"Excuse me?" his eyes widened. Blind of what? She had said no… what is there to see?

"From everything you told me about her, it seems she wants to be with you just as badly as you wish to be with her. And her character… it would suit yours perfectly! She only said no to your proposal because she is a little scared, so she needs some help to make up her mind! That's where I come in!

"She said no because she wishes not to marry me" he replied sternly.

"William, listen to me… My husband cheated on me, a lot of husbands do. Being faithful to one person for the rest of your life is not an easy job. It's a commitment which requires hard labor. I am talking about working on your marriage, investing in it. These days people get married, buy a house, have kids and then they take everything for granted. But getting married is just the beginning. The marriage itself will only hold when two people are mindset on making it work. Robert and I have failed to do this and this makes me think I understand her fears more than anyone. She sounds like someone who has been betrayed and does not wish to suffer like that again". She pleaded with her brother.

He grumbled as he took a seat next to his sister. Maybe his sister was right, maybe she wasn't. Either way he would love to see Rose again.

"Because you are my favourite sister…"

"Your ONLY sister" she interrupted him as she narrowed her eyes at him.

"I will make you a concession. We shall go to the Royal Opera House. We shall watch the performance. But there will be NO matchmaking by my dear sister. So you will stay away from Rosemary… Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal!" she replied with a huge smile on her face as she couldn't help but add "I see you two are on first name basis".


	19. Faces in the crowd

**AN: Finally another chapter, my God I am soooo slow. Sorry sorry sorry! So, exams are over. Now I can finish this story ;-)**

Rose and Susan arrived in London by the end of February. A post carrier had delivered her letter a few days earlier so they were expecting her. There were some familiar faces in the opera house chorus, she had worked with them a few years ago on an opera named "Othello". They settled in one of the rooms inside the opera building. Most people who were part of the opera, also lived there. And since she would only stay for one season, it would not be very practical to buy or rent a house.

The first priority that needed to be taken care of was costume fitting. Rose was put on a stand so several dressmakers could measure her sizes. After having stuck several needles and pins in her they finally made the huge white gown fit her perfectly. The beautiful white dress had a lot of petticoat and the corset was decorated with small ruby's.

"Oh dear" the seamstress said whilst she frowned at the corset.

"Is something the matter?" Rose asked.

"Yes there is. I ordered satin ribbon to lace your corset with. But they send me cheap cotton, those amateurs!" she sighed heavily "Now I need to go to the shop to get it myself, as if I have nothing else to do. There are a lot of dresses to make before we can open this season you know!'' the seamstress said in a highly irritated voice.

"I wouldn't mind going into town for a bit, just tell me how much you need" Rose replied.

"You would be a life saver if you would do that. I need 6 yards of white satin ribbon and some white silk thread if you don't mind".

"Not at all, I haven't been here for a while so I would like to go into town" Rose replied as they helped her out of the huge white gown. She put on her own white dress and yellow cape with gloves. Then she was off to find some ribbon and thread for the seamstress. This was a perfect excuse to escape the hectic of the opera house. Everyone was talking her head off and she was in serious need of some alone time.

As she walked through the streets of London she realized how this could hardly be defined as 'alone time'. The streets were extremely busy and sometimes people would turn their heads to stare at her. After walking around the shop district for about half an hour she finally found a store with ribbons and other kind of material for dressmaking. After she got some satin ribbon and thread, she left the store to make her way back to the opera house. There was still some rehearsing to do. The premiere was in 3 days.

As she closed the shop door her eyes caught a familiar sight. For a moment her breathe faltered. But it couldn't be… Could it? A man in a red military uniform. And she knew this uniform all too well. It was a Green Dragoon uniform. He had his back turned towards her, his long dark brown hair in a perfect queue. She took a few steps forward, away from the door. She couldn't take his eyes off him. She needed to see if it was him or maybe just a figment of her imagination. _Turn around _she thought.

As if he could hear her thoughts he turned his face. He did not turn around to meet Rose her gaze though. His face only turned slightly to the left, but it was _his _face… it was him. Colonel William Tavington…

Rose stared at him in amazement, this was no dream, he was really there, only a few feet away from her across the street. Just when she wanted to step forward to approach him with trembling limbs, his mouth opened to speak. Her eyes widened in shock as she saw the object of his interest to whom he was speaking to. There was a woman by his side. She was little, slender, blonde hair and their arms were hooked. They were standing in front of a pet shop together. She smiled up at him as he spoke to her.

Her primal reaction were tears dwelling up in her eyes. But she quickly changed her mind and fury took over every organ in her body. That night when they danced, when she asked him if he was married… he lied to her. He was married! This beautiful blonde woman was his wife! That lying scumbag! He just used her for some fun, some diversion in times of war whilst his faithful wife was waiting for him at home, wondering if he was still alive.

She had no idea how she got back to the opera house but some way she got there. With an absent mind she handed over the ribbon and thread and took her place on the stand again. The dressmakers finished her dress and she went back to rehearsing. At the moment her mind was blank, but she decided she would think hard on this matter, and when she knew what to do… she would make him pay.


	20. The grand premiere

**AN: When I first started this story I was writing fast because I was full of ideas. Then when I was almost finished I experienced a lot of writers block lol. But now! We are almost there...**

**p.s. It's not a secret I love opera. If you are curious what kind of Opera our main character is performing you should watch/listen 'Stabat Mater' on youtube. Or just listen to it whilst you read this  
><strong>

She stared at the wall in front of her as the dressmakers prepared her for the grand night.  
>The night of the premiere Rose hardly felt nervous. If she felt anything, it was heartache. Heartache for seeing the Colonel with his wife in the streets of London. Smiling at each other and chatting away. She did not understand how she could ever have been so foolish. To think she would be special for this person she almost gave her entire heart to. Or actually she did give her heart… else it would not be aching right now. She should have trusted her rational thoughts and stay away from Colonel Tavington. But every time he came near her she felt as if some kind of ancient magic drew her nearer to him. There was no way of resisting him. And now, this utterly charming man had betrayed her trust. She would never be this foolish again, that was certain.<p>

The heartache was making all other sorts of feelings numb. No nervousness, no stress and no excitement for the premiere. She felt blank, completely numb.  
>She knew the drill: perform, pretend to be grateful to be here and then the after party where people would suck up to her and give her their congratulations. Fine, she would sit this through and go to sleep. Sleep was the only remedy, when she was asleep she felt nothing.<p>

"Are you ready miss De La Porte?" the director asked her.

"Ready as I'll every be" she answered in a small voice.

"Don't be nervous miss, all the seats are sold because of you. You will be spectacular" he replied in an attempt to cheer her up.

She gave him a small smile. Then the curtains opened and the orchestra started playing. The stage was lit by dozens of candles and Rose could see that indeed all the seats got sold. There were at least 800 people here. Rose looked to the woman next to her, the alto singer. Together they made it to the other end of the stage, where they would stand in front of the audience. As the soprano singer, Rose would be the first to hit the notes.

_Stabat mater dolorosa_

_Iuxta crucem lacrimosa,_

_Dum pendebat filius._

They performed the entire opera and half way through, when Rose had no lines, her gaze made its way through the audience. First the seats in front of her and then the balcony in the middle. When her eyes moved to one of the boxes on the right she saw them. Colonel Tavington and the blonde woman she had seen earlier when shopping for ribbon.  
>She stared him right in the eye. And he stared straight back at her. Their eyes locked at each other. His gaze showed some kind of emotion. She could not make out if it was remorse, sympathy or love. Or maybe a mixture of all of them. She remembered the good times that she and the Colonel had spent at the estate. He made her laugh, protected her, took care of her when she most needed it and had shared his life stories with her. She remembered the night they had made love as she kept staring into his eyes. He was thinking about the same night. A few tears dwelled up in her eyes, and in his eyes also but Rose couldn't see that.<br>He felt as if he carried around a heavy brick in his stomach and he had a hard time swallowing. Never had he felt such a strong connection with a woman and for some strange reason faith had brought them back together. He listened to her perform, he usually wasn't that fond of opera but the fact that this was her performing made him feel different. This beautiful angel in this snow white dress had given herself completely to him. And then she just left…

* * *

><p>She did not even remember how she had left the stage after the orchestra hit the last note and they bowed to the audience. She quickly made her way to her chamber to refresh for the after party. He had been there… to watch her perform… but with his wife… this was all so confusing.<p>

The after party meant a lot of aristocrats, music directors and some wealthy business men trying to speak with her. Since this was the extremely boring part of being famous, Rose excused herself after 20 minutes to get back to her room and catch up on some sleep. As she made her way through the hall to reach the stairs, a blonde woman lightly pulled her arm.

"Excuse me miss, I mean not to bother you but I was wondering if you still give music lessons whilst you are in London" the Blonde woman asked her.

Rose turned around to face the person who called her out. She stared in shock.

_Oh my God. It's his wife. Please God, don't do this to me… not tonight!_

__"Oh, pardon my rudeness, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Elisabeth Tavington".

The woman searched Rose's face for any sign of recognition.

_So now it was final. They had already gotten married. Within 2 month's he found a wife. Or perhaps he had one all this time._

"I… I…" she stumbled "As much as I would love to give musical lessons, at the moment I am fully booked by the Royal Opera House madam. I am so sorry"

_And if I would by teaching this season, you would not be my pupil…_

__"I did expect that. No worries though! I really enjoyed your performance tonight miss De La Porte. And do I understand you correctly when I say you will perform some more this season in London?"

Rose smiled politely at the woman "Yes you are correct, there will be more performances".

Just as she had answered the blonde woman, two older women passed by as one said to the other "I cannot believe she has the nerve to show up here and try to socialize like that".

Rose stared at the women as they made their way to the exit. "It seems talking with me will do your reputation no good lady Tavington. Maybe I should be on my way" Rose said.

"Oh… But I think you misinterpreted that miss. They were not speaking off you. They were speaking of me" she said in a mildly sad voice.

_I am not supposed to feel sorry for this woman… damnit._

"May I be so freely as the ask why they would say such nasty things about you?" Rose inquired.

"Of course, you can ask me anything, I am not ashamed. And the days that I cared what society thought about me are far behind me" Elisabeth replied with a happy smile on her face.

_Wonderful, now I actually like this woman._

"You see miss, this year my husband cheated on me. So I cheated on him to get a divorce. Which I got, and I met up with my childhood sweetheart a few weeks ago" Elisabeth let out a small giggle as she finished her sentence. "But of course society feels they can judge me and look down on me. I care not. I am much happier these days than I ever was with my ex-husband".

_Yeah… I bet you are… with the man I lost because of my stubbornness and irrational fear._

But Rose immediately felt sympathy for this woman. It also made her realize Tavington had not betrayed her. This woman and the Colonel must have only met when he came back to London. Which was shortly after she left the colonies so he did not have to answer to her for his actions. She refused him so why shouldn't he go on and marry someone?

"I admire you greatly for the path you chose. It is very brave of you to turn society the cold shoulder and follow your own path" Rose told her.

"Well I mean not to show any fake politeness but I admire you for the same reason miss De La Porte. You have worked so hard and look at what you have achieved. I am sure you have had moments where you almost lost your bravery" the woman said in a enthusiastic voice.

_Great… she is really nice and honest, if it wasn't for the Colonel, I could befriend this woman…_

"Trust me misses Tavington, I have not been so brave lately…" Rose replied as she looked back on the latest events of her life.

"Oh, I am not a misses yet, I am still miss Tavington, I have not had the guts to go and marry my childhood lover yet. I am almost completely shameless but not shameless enough I guess" she chuckled at Rose.

Rose stared at her in confusion.

"But… I though you said…" Rose tried to say

"I got my divorce yes, But I have not married yet. My Robert and I wanted a summer wedding so we will wait a little while" Elisabeth face lit up even more as she spoke of her new lover.

"I… I… I saw you in the streets the other day.. I… thought you were… Are you not… married to Colonel William Tavington?" Rose said, utterly confused by now.

"Oh dear God no!" she almost roared with laughter as she tried to explain. "Tavington is my maiden name so as long as I am unmarried I have my old name back. Colonel William Tavington is my older brother. He is staying with me for as long as he is in London" Elisabeth explained.

She tried to read Rose's face for a sign which would show her feelings on the Colonel. When she saw the confusion, tears and happiness at the same time it was clear to her.

_Her brother…. She was his sister…. He is not…. He did not get married_

__"You are not married…"

"No"

"He… he is not married"

"Indeed my brother is not married"

"I… I just… I am sorry… you… excuse me… I just have to…" she stumbled over every word she spoke and then quickly turned around to leave the hallway and make her way to her room.


	21. And they lived

Rose sat in front of her dressing table, staring into the mirror. She cleaned the little make up she wore off her face and with that she removed the tears which freely ran over her face only 5 minutes ago. She had taken off her huge ball gown which she wore at the premiere and was now sitting down in her corset with stockings and white chamber coat made out of satin and lace _(Imagine her like Christine in the Phantom of the Opera after she performed "Think of me")_

She didn't understand. What was he doing here? The war wasn't over yet so why was he here and why had he not come to see her sooner if he knew she was here?  
>So many questions were racing through her head as she just stared at her reflection in the mirror. A few days ago a letter from her father had arrived. The letter was an attempt to explain his motives and practically beg for her forgiveness. She had not replied yet, now knowing what to say or how to say it. As her mind wandered off to her time in the Colonies she was interrupted by a knock on the door. She frowned, this was odd, it was past midnight so why would anyone knock on her door at this hour. Perhaps something was wrong with Susan she thought as she made her way over to the door only to open it up and find Colonel Tavington standing there in his Dragoon uniform, looking handsome as ever.<p>

She gasped as her hand slowly moved to her mouth to cover it, her heart had skipped a beat. Without saying a word she slowly opened the door further and moved a few steps to give him passage. He entered in silence as she closed the door again. Just when she wanted to remove her hand from the key his hand enclosed on her hand and he turned the key so the door was locked.

"Do not worry, if you wish it, I only came to speak with you. But I do not want to be disturbed this time" he said as he tried to produce a smile, but his face was more serious than ever.

"Of course, make yourself comfortable" she said in a quiet voice. She made her way to the dressing table again but did not sit down. He did not sit down either but just stood in front of her, not even 2 feet away from her. She could smell his scent again and a desire to wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him almost overtook her.

"Let me start by congratulating you on your wonderful performance. Never have I enjoyed opera as much as tonight" he said as a gentle smile crept on his face.

My god, those icy blue eyes were even more irresistible when he was smiling or smirking. His eyes were lustfully moving over her body and she suddenly realized her lack of clothing. Then again, she had lain with this man so there was no need to be shy now. She interrupted his train of thoughts about all the mad things he would want to do with her right now.

"Thank you Colonel, I was very surprised, well actually shocked, to see you there. With your… your… sister" she replied as her eyes tried to focus on the floor beneath her. When he spoke she looked back up at him.

"The Lord General has suspended me from his army for an unknown time, after my failure to deliver the ghost to him. I am here to handle my business investments. After that I was hoping to move back to the Colonies to start investing there, my brother lives there and he is an expert. I am thinking of buying some factories to start… and then… well… what I also wanted to tell you is that… Rose, my sister told me about your encounter and it has allowed me to hope… for…" he tried to finish his sentence

"I thought you had gotten married, I saw you in the streets in London and… you looked so happy and I thought she was your wife" she interrupted him as tears dwelled up in her eyes.

Suddenly a small flash of anger struck through his body as he grasped her arms and pushed her against the dressing table.

"How could you think I would so easily forget about you! Do you honestly think I just toyed you around and then toss you away at the first opportunity! You have been the only one on my mind ever since you arrived at the estate, these last couple of months have been the darkest months in my life. If only I had never met you, then I wouldn't know how it feels to live without you".

He paused for a second and then continued.

"Why did you come to my bed that night, only to disappear in the morning and leave me… leave me completely empty! WHY!" he angrily stared into her eyes.

"I had to leave… for Antoine"

He sighed. "Yes, your father told me he was very sick. I do apologize, I didn't mean to sound selfish… it's just that… never mind. How is he? Is he still..." he did not finish his sentence but instead loosened his grip on her arms when he realized she could be mourning right now.

"He is fine, he was never ill. My father tricked me to get me away from you. I came to you that night… because… because I figured I would never see you again if I had to stay in France for a long time and you would be in the Colonies fighting a war" she said as she lowered her eyes not daring to look at him whilst continuing her story "And I wanted to be you… I wanted to be with you because I am in love you William".

She looked back up at him to find him gazing down at her with a look of compassion and love she had never seen in anyone's eyes before. Her hands moved to his jacket and she pulled him towards her as she started kissing him. He did not object or move away. He could not be angry with her, he wanted her as she wanted him. Their mouths opened up to each other and their tongues started to explore each other's again. My God, these had been the longest month's off their lives.

His warm lips were still pressing on hers as she opened up her legs and wrapped her left leg around him. Their hands were moving over each other's body eagerly and Tavington's right hand made his way up her left leg to feel the inside of her thighs. He quickly opened up his breeches as he stared into her eyes.

"It was very naughty of you to leave me the way you did, so I shall punish you for it to make sure you never do such things again" he said in a low voice whilst smirking at her hungrily.

She hungered for him, she had not forgotten how good this felt. "I think I shall enjoy this punishme… AAAH!"

She was interrupted when he, almost forcefully, entered her and started moving inside her quickly, forcefully holding her hips close to him and moving in and out of her. She put her arms around his neck again and kissed him.

"Does it still hurt my love?" he asked her tenderly but with a slight grin on his face.

"Not too much, less than our first time" she replied with half closed eyes.

"One day I will make love to you slowly, tenderly, but not tonight, tonight you deserve what's coming to you for being so naughty and stubborn" he said as he grabbed her neck and forcefully kissed her again

"Well, if this is your idea of punishment I do not intend of staying out of trouble" she replied as she gave him a naughty smile with a passionate look.

"Good, I like you that way" he answered as he kept moving inside her.

Then he slowed his movements down and he started kissing her neck. She moaned and gasped for air. His lips on her skin made her feel as if she could burn from the inside out any moment.

"Rose, I understand why you are scared to get married" he whispered in her ear. "But I want you to be mine nevertheless. Why don't we just tell everyone we got married and be done with it. That way we both have our ways" he pleaded with her as he tenderly caressed her hair and kissed her face.

"No William, we will have a real marriage. I have been foolish and I am not about to make that mistake again. I will be your wife and you will be my husband" she answered him.

"But what about your ideas on me having complete power and control over you?" he asked her curiously.

The same naughty smile appeared on her face again "Something _inside _me makes me believe I will enjoy you having complete power and control over me" she replied as she lustfully licked her lips.

He groaned loudly "My God woman, you are pure evil" he said as he kissed her and put her left leg on the table. She leaned back into the mirror so he could enter her even deeper. The sensation this made her feel was indescribable.

_This would be an interesting marriage _she thought as she enjoyed his warm hardness inside her.

No more fears. He would keep her safe.

* * *

><p>When they woke up the next day the room was an absolute mess. Flowers were on the ground, chairs had fallen over and they were lying in bed only half covered by the sheets. Rose's head was resting on his chest and Tavington had his arms wrapped around her small shoulders. He had been awake for a few minutes, just staring at her, silently breathing down at his chest. Then her eyes slowly opened up and a smile appeared on her face when she realized the events of last night, which would be the beginning of their changed lives.<p>

"Well… this is good beginning" Tavington said as he kissed the top of her head.

"What is?" Rose asked with a confused look on her face.

"You… not fleeing from me after we make love" he replied with a mocking smile on his face.

"Oh! I did NOT flee" she tried to defend herself, but he interrupted when he smothered her with kisses.

"So… what happens now?" she asked whilst she looked up at his handsome face.

"Well… I shall stay in London and take out my investments. You will continue to perform and when the war is over… maybe you and Susan would consider moving to the Colonies with me?" he asked her.

She smiled "I would love to. I can teach and perform in their major cities, you will have your business and we can start a complete new life William… Our own live" she replied as she put her head back on his chest and hugged him tightly.

He closed his eyes, realizing he had finally found some peace. From now on everything would be different.

And Rose had finally found her own real life fairy tale. Which do exist, if you are patient enough.

_**THE END**_


	22. AN

**Author's note**

Here we are. The end of the story.  
>I am very curious what you all thought about it so please review! :-)<p>

I want to thank everyone for the kind comments you have written for me and everyone who has read my story and waited impatiently for another chapter. Thank you for liking my story and your interest in my imaginative world.

I have really enjoyed writing this. Some chapters are better than others because my imagination has sometimes failed me. Nevertheless I am content with this first story. Since I am Dutch this writing has also helped me improve my English a bit.

I am thinking about writing another story about Colonel Tavington and a fictional character. I already have some ideas and this time it will take place with the war around them and closer to the real life events in the patriot.

So let me know if you have any ideas again and if you would like another story about Tavington and an original female character.

Greetings,

Nathalie.


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